Raindrops slid down on the other side of the window. Why, she could only guess. Maybe he didn’t care, now, but she was certain he could change that if he wanted. For now, it however emphasised the misery inside her, caused by his ignorance. Nearly ten minutes she had stood there, waiting for him to stop browsing the papers and taking notes with a greenish shimmering black quill. A quill of sorts she remembered well from the past. A past long in the past. Very long. And still so present. Taking a deep breath, he flipped another page, then, not taking his eyes off the papers, raised his voice calmer than she expected, almost too calm and indifferent.
“As much as I appreciate that you have come to terms with how similar we are, I don’t see how that would make him emerge from my body by staring at me.”
“Charming.”, she huffed.
“Look. I have things to do. If you cannot find the words you want to say to me, come back another time. And no, even if I knew where he is right now, I wouldn’t – ”
Harry’s head jerked up, but he didn’t look at her. Instead he stared at the closed double door behind her. Spinning, she had to notice that it was still as shut as she had left it, and remained that way for several more moments. Listening, she tried to find out what he might have perceived, but couldn’t catch a sound from outside, even though the fake rain was very quiet. Suddenly the door’s handle was pushed down, very gently, and her heart leapt when whom she had been looking for, entered and closed the door again without any sound either. For a second she thought he was going to ignore her, but then his dark eyes flicked at her. Stunned momentarily, it took her a bit to notice the colour of the slim but high collared robe he was wearing: it was a dark midnight blue with subtle, delicate, emerald embroidery on all seams.
“Jus’ a second; I wun’ disturb ye fer lon’.”, he said, calm as well.
“You’re not disturbing anyone or anything.”, Harry replied softly and pulled on a drawer of his desk. “Other than your own workday schedule anyway.”
“Wha’s tha’?”, Severus chuckled at the lunchbox Harry placed on the desk then.
“My attempt on Thai green fish curry. The clock tells me you’re supposed to be back at work in eight minutes.”, he nodded up at the wall above the door.
“An’ ye?”, Harry took another box from the drawer with an impish smirk. “’Course ye knew.”
“Let me say, I expected it. Kingsley’s upset.”
“’E’s go’ no reason.”
“He thinks otherwise. The deal said otherwise.”
“An’ ’e said, I quote, `And if I have to pay you so you don’t get yourselves murdered by the Ministry. I don’t want to be the one responsible for swinging that hammer.´”
“Oh boy.”
“Tha only reason ’e’s upse’ is ’cause ’e din’ think I’d take ’is word.”
“’S that the contract?”, he nodded at the folder in his father’s hand.
“’Course. I’m no’ sellin’ me soul fer tha res’ o’ me life fer free.”, Severus smiled and went over with it; Harry opened the folder and scanned the documents.
“Case by case. Good. Oh and look! He even signed it!”
“I’m glad ’e din’ burn it, ter be ’ones’.”
“But word is word, yes. Witnesses or not.”, with that, Harry put his signature on every sheet that asked for it.
“Yes. Thank ye.”
“Any time. I, don’t want to be the one standing between you and some extra money.”
“’Specially no’ now.”, Severus sighed.
She could only see Harry’s face due to Severus’ long hair veiling his own, but some sort of conversation happened between their eyes. With a sigh and very slow, Harry closed the folder and placed one of the lunch boxes on top, handing both back then.
“No worries.”, he meant after another short pause, causing his father to laugh, if though very depleted. “I sent Kreacher over with the rest of it. Nobody’s gonna starve today.”
“Jokester.”, Severus huffed and bent down for a little kiss on Harry’s cheek.
Yet something he must have whispered into Harry’s ear, Hermione considered, as Harry faintly shook his head before he pulled his father’s head close, stroking it assuringly.
“I said no worries. Time will tell. It always did and we always managed.”, Hermione could hear and see the big sigh that left Severus before he raised and turned to go. “Dad?”
“Yes?”, he turned back to stand facing Hermione, but still looked at Harry.
“I – ”, Harry scratched his neck. “I could – ”
“No need, an’ ye know tha’.”, she didn’t know what any of that meant, but as curious as she was, she also rather didn’t care.
“Okay.”, Harry nodded.
“Severus?”, Hermione couldn’t help it when he clearly hesitated to go.
“I know,”
“We need to talk.”
“I said I know,”
“What?”, she faltered. “Uhm – yes. Uhm I mean what?”
“I know we need ter talk, as much as I’d prefer ter delay it, bu’ yes, I know we need ter talk. Bu’ no’ now. I go’ ter be back at work in six an’ ea’ tha’.”, he nodded down to the box on the folder he held.
“Well, yes. Uhm – ”
“After supper.”
“After – alright!”, Hermione sang, very surprised he had openly accepted a confrontation just like that, in light of how much he was still avoiding her, even though the trial had been a month ago. “Uh – after – when’s – ”
“Eigh’?”
“Pardon?”
“I said, at eight?”
“Eight. Yes. Good. Uhm – ”
“Dun’ tell Molly I’ll come.”, the look he gave her was almost a warning.
“I – oh! Well, no.”, she shook her head hectically. “You won’t be – of course not. I’m stupid. Eight. Alright. Then.”
Completely muddled, she stared at the door again, when it closed behind him, but felt Harry’s eyes on her.
“You expected him to come for supper? Goodness.”
“Are you done?”, grumbled Hermione. “It was merely a split-second brain hiccup. Besides, why does he need extra money? Especially now? What does that mean?”
“It means nothing but what you should know it means.”
“It – ”, she needed a pause.
“Yes.”
“He knows?”, with a gasp, she spun around, only to see him almost looking over his glasses, in a very Dumbledore-ish way.
“Of course he knows.”
“But – but I’m – ”
“Notorious seventh week, yes. How he knows, you ask?”
“Yes, actually.”, Hermione swallowed.
“He can feel it.”
“So – so he can – ”
“Yes.”
“And he told you.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Naturally. And – ”, she paused again.
“And what? Look, Hermione. That is something between you four.”
“Us four?”
“Hermione,”
“Oh.”
“And your lunch break is nearly over as well.”
~~#~~
The dishes chimed almost in accordance with the ticking of the clock. A strange sensation nobody but her noticed. They were too deep into a lively conversation which she had locked herself out of. Fallen into the canyon of her thoughts, trying to distract herself so she wouldn’t faint from both anticipation and anxiety, she studied Molly washing up, and actually startling her. For a second she had turned her head, barely to the side, just as if she had felt Hermione’s stare, but then continued. Yet seconds later Hermione understood it hadn’t been her. Molly now clearly looked through the window into gloom of the rising night.
If it hadn’t been for the light from inside the house to reflect off his pale face, she wouldn’t have been able to see him at all. He melted with dusk perfectly. Her throat constricting, she watched the ghostly face grow bigger and then disappear from sight when he approached the door. Molly put down the ladle in her hands, dried those with a towel and meant to meet him at the door, but he already knocked and entered carefully, killing the conversation instantly.
“Good gracious, Severus!”, Molly moaned. “If I had known you’d come – ”
“Good evening everyone,”
He smiled gently but there was no real life to his smile. At first Hermione had thought it mirrored exactly what she felt inside, but then it appeared rather blank than dismal.
“If you had, you would have cooked enough to feed all of Struan.”
“Possibly. Although I don’t know – ”
“About three hundred inhabitants.”
“Oh.”, she laughed hearty. “Now. Come on in. Don’t let the chilly evening bother us so much. Take a seat with us. Are you sure you don’t want any of the leftovers?”
“No, really, thank you.”, Severus meant, his eyes briefly flicking at – Ron, as Hermione realised, and she turned her head to see why but couldn’t immediately spot any good reason. “I – and I didn’t really come to stay long either, before you ask. Hermione?”
“Upstairs?”, she gargled, surprised she had managed to get the word past her tongue.
“All right.”
When raising, she almost knocked her chair over but could conceal it by pushing it towards the table. With a soft gesture he yielded to her. Still, years later and although it had been replaced, she skipped a certain stair. Everyone actually did. Not even at the first landing, she heard Ron from behind mumbling something and turned to find out that he had stopped Severus halfway behind her.
“I – I just meant to say – ”, he looked very nervous, squeezing himself onto the stairs as well at his position, “Mind if – sure, she’s first, but I need to talk to you as well.”
“Of course.”, Severus nodded. “Perhaps it would be better if we talked first.”
“O-okay? Where?”, he looked up at her, then back at Ron and pulled his wand from his sleeve.
“Here.”, she could just catch before they were gone from sight and ear upon some whirls of the black stick.
“I guess that works too.”, Ron chuckled.
“Nobody can see or hear us; I trust you know.”
“Yeah. Not the first time I’m under a secrecy bell.”
“Naturally. Now. What is it that you want to tell me?”
“Well, I don’t know if you know, but maybe you do, right? She’s – Hermione’s pregnant again.”
“Yes. And this is why I’m here, as you might have guessed.”
“Okay. Good. Uh – ”, Severus had a hard time looking at him trying to find words. “Look. It might take me a while to figure some things sometimes, but I can do the math.”, an entire mountain plummeted into his stomach. “I know it’s not mine. And honestly, that’s – ”
“Ronald – I am terr-”
“Okay.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I said, it’s okay.”
“W- no. No, it’s not.”, Severus shook his head, but confused as to why Ron moved one stair down again. “What – ”
“Sorry.”, he chuckled. “I just don’t want to, you know, tower you. Prefer the eye level. That isn’t always easy with my size.”
“Right. But it is – ”
“Okay, yes. Look. Something like that always takes two, right? And maybe Harry inculcated me enough, but it’s not like I hate you anymore or believe you might have voluntarily tricked her into anything. I know Hermione enough to think it was rather the other way round and the fact that she didn’t bother about birth control either, tells me that it wasn’t entirely your fault.”, all Severus could do was to nod, his head sinking to his chest.
“You have a fair point, but – ”
“I don’t really want to know why, but it just happened and things are the way they are. Something tells me while as much as she might actually not even be averse to ditching me for you, you won’t allow that.”
“Of course I won’t.”, sighed Severus, weary eyes back on him. “She may be torn between us, but I cannot give her what she seeks. Yes, should she decide to keep it, I will do my best to support either of you.”
“I wouldn’t even ask that of you.”, Ron raised his flat hands, almost in defence. “If you can’t, that’s fine too. We’ll – ”
“No, stop. Do you honestly think I will just let you take on this burden? No. As you said, it takes two, and you aren’t one of those. Besides,”
“What’s – ”
The door had been pushed open with a lot of force and resulted in a number of gasps and shrieks and it was bounced back so hard the man who had come in, had to stop it from hitting him in the face. Completely churned up, his look travelled around, eventually spotting them on the stairs due to his abilities.
“Oh.”, he breathed out.
“Could anyone tell me what is going on here?”, Molly huffed, her hands on her hips.
“Calm down, darling.”, Arthur sighed. “I’m sure we’ll get to hear if we’re meant to know.”
“Can – can I – ”, Igor stammered up to them, but Severus only gave him a nod. “Thank you.”
Relaxing a little but not really, he climbed up the stairs and was absorbed by the bubble. Again Ron had to squeeze himself to the handrail, but neither Hermione nor any of the others got to see that. With an annoyed huff, she crossed her arms, waiting.
“I dun’ think tha’s such a good idea bu’ – ”
“I have to. Sorry. He has to know.”, he muttered. “He has the right to know.”
“Know what?”, Ron got curious.
“It is my fault. It is all my fault. Please don’t blame Severus. He – he barely agreed to this. I – ”
“Igor,”, he warned again, but the harm was done already.
“Your fault? What’re you talking about?”, Ron too crossed his arms, but with an amused chuckle.
“I made him. It was my idea. Such a stupid idea. I don’t know why. I didn’t think what that would mean. I believed it would be fine and work, just any way. Please forgive me.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I – I – ”, with a deep sigh, he squinted his eyes before he breathed out the confession. “I wanted children.”, although the others at the table had continued talking in whispering volume, the silence was painful; at least for Severus.
“Come again?”, laughed Ron, unsure whether he had heard right.
“And – and – well – I knew that Severus would have always loved to have more than one child but it never got to happen – and – of course we could have picked any surrogate mother, but I didn’t want him having to deal with a child from a mother he didn’t know – I – so – so I figured, you see. I don’t know what had gotten into – what – ”, Ron had started laughing. “Why are you – ”
“Sorry.”, he just shook his head with a grin. “I mean, okay? That’s – that’s – dunno – actually pretty funny, yes.”
“Why.”, Igor puffed, almost like a Chinese Fireball, looking much like he was a second from gagging the laugh with his trembling hands.
“I – sorry, but – sorry.”, he tried to calm himself. “It’s just hard for me to imagine you wanting children, but I guess I don’t really know you, so I should probably shut up, shouldn’t I? Honestly, well, that’s gonna be interesting enough as it is.”
“Что за хрень – ”
“I dunno either.”, Severus slowly shook his head. “Tha’s no’ tha Ron Weasley I know.”
“Not the – oh come on, I have no idea what kind of impression you used to have of me, but I’m not a complete jerk. Honestly, among all the crap I had to deal with during and ever since school, that’s actually not that bad.”
“You are aware of the situation we are in though?”, Severus asked, seriously worried, hands on his hips as Ron’s mother’s still were.
“I absolutely think so, yes. But what’s the point in throwing a tantrum? I love Hermione and as I said, it’s partly her own fault and I’ll stand by her, if you two don’t mind. Why I actually laughed? Well, it’s – how shall I say – er – quite some story? Better than `sorry ’bout the accident´ anyway. At least someone wanted that child and if that isn’t worth something, I don’t know.”
“Wait. You – you aren’t – angry?”, the word `flabbergasted´ was an understatement for Igor’s expression; Severus only blew an astonished chuckle.
“Angry? Nah. I mean, Harry’s my best friend, right? And sorry, but he’s quite the tosser. A really lovable tosser and an incredibly bitchy boss, but still. He’s developed some strangely wise man under that untidy kelp that I never failed to appreciate. He’s got some really admirable philosophy; some of which I took to heart. Like – really. Things like that if you want to be forgiven, you need to learn to forgive – and learn to forgive yourself as well. Or that any grudge unsolved, will only fall back heavy on the bearer and that nobody can benefit from such a situation. That you can get beaten down a hundred times, but if you don’t get up and make the best of it, the fault of your destruction will be your own, eventually.”
“Is that really what he said to you?”
“Yeah. That’s some words I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”
“And neither has he, apparently, or your sister.”, Severus smirked woefully, arms slackening, blinking water in his eyes away. “It seems, I am not as bad a teacher as my former students kept accusing me of.”
“So – wait. He – ? Oh!”, laughed Ron again when he had put one and one together. “Well, anyway – uh – thanks for the wisdom. Appreciate it back, please.”
“I certainly will, thank you.”, Severus nodded again, still with disbelief, but also honest gratitude. “Now then.”, he took a deep, composing breath. “If you excuse me, your wife is impatiently waiting for the inevitable.”
“Right. Just uh – I don’t think it’d be too clever to tell her the part about – you know,”, neither the request nor the nod at Igor would have been necessary though.
“Certainly not, no. At least not yet. That might destroy her.”, with that, Severus swung his wand again.
“Oh hello,”, Hermione grunted. “Nice seeing you again,”
Severus didn’t miss Ron’s try of warning her not to scold any of them for the little intermission, but she turned on the spot and stomped upstairs anyway. Another landing up, he had finally caught up with her, but she didn’t dare to walk on. Curious, she stopped him with her hand raised and listened to her husband’s voice.
“You’d probably sit down, Mum. No, really. Sit down.”, she could hear a chair being moved and then Molly speaking.
“Will you enlighten me now?”
“Please try not to freak out immediately, yes?”
“Oh come on, Ronald. She’s pregnant again, isn’t she?”
“Uh – yeah!”
“I knew it!”, Molly sang and there was another sound from the chair.
“Mum! Stop – just – stop it and sit back down.”
“Oh Ron. I’m so happy – ”
“Mum just – just sit down, yes?”
“What is wrong? I don’t really like your tone, son,”, Arthur, clearly. “Molly. Why don’t you listen to him.”
“Alright alright.”, there was a pause, which would be followed by an uncomfortable silence, at least from the kitchen. “I’m not the father.”
“Did he really have to – ”, Hermione hissed.
“Yes, he had to. Come on.”
He nodded upstairs and with a huff, Hermione walked on, trying hard to ignore the shrill moaning from below. It was silenced by the door and his immediate two-way-shield anyway. At the current peak of her anger she stomped around the merged beds and to the desk by the window she and Ron shared. Downright digging her fingers into the desktop she noticed that it was raining outside. The puddles told her that it must not have stopped between her getting home from work and Severus’ arrival. Had she been so distracted that she hadn’t heard the rain? Or had her ears simply shut the sound out because it had been constant background noise? Startling her from her thoughts, he lit the lamp on the desk magically. Like a moth, she was suddenly drawn to it, clung to the shine as if her life depended on it.
“She’s ’is mother. She’s go’ tha righ’ ter know. An’ it surprises me ’ow well ’e takes it.”
“The moment we were told the exact week, he looked at me and just chuckled – and left the room. When I found him, he just stared at the wall, then at me. And he said that we’ll see this through, no matter how. He – he knew – instantly. And I stood there like an idiot, only hearing Ginny tell me that I don’t value him the way he deserves it. I hate to admit she was right.”, slowly she turned around and startled again as he stood closer than she had thought – he had sounded further away than the arm’s length he was at. “I don’t deserve him.”, Hermione whimpered. “I ignore and scold and betray him and cheat on him with my ex who could be my dad and and even get pregnant from him and Ron’s just like `Whatever; I love you.´ How can it be that I screwed up so bad and still, somehow, won the lottery?”
“I kep’ askin’ meself tha same. Wit’ ev’ry single person I ended up wit’.”
Weary, she studied him. For some reason the light from below flattered him. Yes, it made his eyes appear even more sunken in, the cheekbones much sharper, but it also gave his eyes a mysterious glow. Framed by the curiously elegant jet black waves, his pale skin looked younger than it should regarding his age. No matter what he had done during those years away from Hogwarts and even taking their momentary despair into account, she looked at incarnate years of content and harmony, hating herself now even more, as she, for exactly that amount of time, had done nothing but seeking to be the reason for it herself, eventually leading to the destruction of it all by her ignorance. But the harm was done.
He had survived two wars and lived a happy life ever after until she had come to wreck it. Hermione now finally understood why he couldn’t be with her. Her naïve selfishness was always meant to be his doom and he had tried so hard to get away from it, but she hadn’t let him. The reality of it pained her so much she wanted slam her head against the wall until her brain did what it had done so many years back in the Room of Requirement and she wished he hadn’t saved her life. He had saved her life and she had thanked him by ruining his. People kept calling her intelligent, yet the truth was, she was nothing short of an utter fool.
“Love le’s us do tha mos’ irrational thin’s. Are we ter blame fer tha’? Yes an’ no. Do I blame ye fer no’ givin’ up? Do I blame meself fer le’in’ ye win? Yes an’ no. Hermione. Tha truth is, I’m as scared as ye are. Bu’ Ronald is righ’. If ev’rythin’ ’appens fer a reason, also tha’ did. An’ we’ll see through. I dun’ expec’ it ter be easy, an’ nor do ye, I presume, bu’ sum’thin’ tells me it’s mean’ ter be. Only please understan’ tha’ I wun’ pretend we’re a – ”
“Happy little family?”, she gargled, wondering again how she had been able to say any word at all.
“Yes.”
“I won’t.”, Hermione shook her head.
“Good.”
“If you tell me one thing.”
“Which is?”, he huffed.
“Is Igor the same emotional mess in private as well or is his schizophrenic behaviour only show?”
“Both, actually.”, at first completely blank, a weirdly amused smile grew on Severus’ lips.
“Thought so.”, she sighed, depleted.
“Int’restin’ condition.”
“What?”
“Ye said ye wouldn’ pretend we’re a happy lil family if I answered ye tha’ question.”, he smirked.
For a very short moment she was confused. The next moment she was thunderstruck, and the very after she was close to summoning Hogwarts: A History from the shelf and slamming it into this wondrously handsome face to beat all that none-aged beauty off it in hope to, in the process, hit at least a part of the cunningness that made her feel even more like an idiot who had gotten pranked by a teenager in a costume. And even that costume looked way too good on him. Sighing hard, she dropped her shoulders instead.
“Someone should finally forbid your existence.”, she breathed hollow.
“Many tried.”, Severus’ childish smile turned soft and nostalgic.
“Including me.”
“I’d like ter disagree.”
“You shouldn’t.”
Apparently she had misjudged the distance. What she had thought to be the length of his arms must have been hers, as his was still bent when he carefully placed his hand on her left shoulder. That made her even more miserable as it was another proof that she didn’t know him at all. Not his mindset, not the kindness of his heart, not even the body she fancied so much. She truly had no right to expect him to want her close. Tears in her eyes, she tried to look at his fingers, only to be reminded by a ring that both of them had given a promise to someone. A promise either of them had broken. Or so she believed; she had no idea what he had promised Igor.
Whatever it was, her considerations about it were blown away when those fingers suddenly were lifted up to her cheek, turning her head and letting her feel the softest touch in ages. His smile was gone. Replaced by sadness. Gazing deeply into her eyes, he sighed so heavy it nearly brought tears to them. Another soft stroke and the hand was back on her shoulder.
“That suits you, by the way.”, again, although the knot in her throat was growing bigger, she somehow had managed to release at least some words.
“Hm?”
“That blue robe.”
“Thank ye.”
“Unusual, but then again, I have never really seen you wear formal clothes that weren’t black with a white shirt beneath. Except if you were disguising yourself, of course. But I don’t think that can be called `having seen you´. Fancy Celtic embroidery.”
“Thanks. Was tha mos’ expensive par’. Hand stitched.”, Hermione chuckled.
“She changed her mind.”
“Who?”
“Barbara Kelton.”, she said hollow again, waiting for him to answer, but he merely mirrored her blank face. “The court scri–”
“I know who tha’ is,”
“Yes.”, Severus only frowned, so as to demand her point.
“I may have been completely shocked by the revealing of your agreement, but I didn’t miss the change in her expression. What have you told her? In her mind?”
“Nut’in’ bu’ tha truth.”
“What truth. About what.”
“Ye wanna know why she insisted fer all victims’ names ter be read?”
“Why.”
“She expected ’er father on tha lis’.”
“And? Is he on the list?”, very appalled, Hermione crossed her arms, his hand still resting on her shoulder and she was surprised her arms hadn’t collided with his chest in the process.
“’E was on a chair,”, Severus only faintly tilted his head, but his expression remained the same.
“So you confirmed his death to her? Did she want his death?”
“She din’,”
“Then why – ”
“Tha lis’ only contains those who’ve died, no’ those who were never voluntarily loyal Death Eaters. Yes, we visited ev’ryone wit’ a brand. Serpen’s an’ Blindworms alike. Ou’ o’ principle. Bu’ ye ferge’, while a grea’ number ’ad sworn loyalty ter – eventually actual – death, an even bigger number were hacks. Tag-alon’s. A ton o’ dangerously los’ souls, bu’ also people who were forced ter join ter spare sum’one ’ey cared fer. An’ many o’ tha latter never fel’ even tha slightes’ brush o’ any blade’s edge. Elbert Kelton was chosen due ter ’is position wit’in a community. ’E was mean’ ter preach tha word o’ tha Lord. Tha other Lord, if ’e wanned ter save ’is daughter’s life. One o’ many priests Voldemor’ saugh’ ter abuse fer ’is propaganda. ’E was one o’ tha firs’ ones I ’elped ter disappear when Voldemor’ returned. After tha second war, ’e wen’ back ter ’is small community. Bu’ never returned ter ’is daughter’s life, scared ’ow she’d take it all. I told ’er where ter find ’im. Tha’s why ’er mind changed.”
“Oh – ”, breathed Hermione. “He – oh my goodness – I had no idea he’d gone as far as to abuse religion – abuse pastors – ”
“’E abused anythin’ if ’e believed it served ’im enough.”
“And you vouched for them – like you vouched for all those Muggle-Borns in the Ministry and Hogwarts – ”
“As many as I could, yes.”
Hermione needed a brief pause. A pause in which her wit told her that as many lives he had doomed, he must have saved at least double. And he felt responsible. For each single one of them. Responsible enough to murder in order to give peace to the innocent. Murdering in their name so they could keep their innocence.
“Why did you really have Kingsley sign a contract.”
“Ye know why.”, he said serious, retrieving his hand. “I wanna give ye tha bigges’ suppor’ I can give. I wan’ ter be there as much as I can wit’ou’ actually movin’ in.”
“I don’t quite understand. Sure I appreciate the gesture, but I’m a Ministry official and both Ron’s main and side job earn us more than enough. We’re certainly set for another child. For now at least.”
“Fer now, yes.”
“Yes. But why would you need extra money for that as well?”
“Ye see, bein’ a floris’ on Skye doesn’ really make ye a millionaire,”
“It doesn’t benefit your standard English either, from what I hear. Nothing wrong with that, but your accent’s gotten even more Scottish than I remembered it.”
“Per’aps.”, Severus laughed quietly.
“Still. Igor also has a job and I’m sure now that the Ministry knows Alastor is alive, he’ll get his pension back.”
“Tha’ isn’ certain.”
“Kingsley – ”
“’S go’ enough ter deal wit’ already. ’E’s tha Minister, no’ ev’ryone’s Houseelf,”, the comparison didn’t upset her as much as his clear indifference about her expression telling him exactly that.
“Still.”, she huffed. “You’re practically self-sustained!”
“Tha only thin’ we dun’ need ter buy, really, is vegetables, ’erbs and a good ’alf o’ tha dairy,”
“No matter, you just cannot tell me that any of that adds up so much,”
“Tha ren’,”, Hermione faltered.
“The what?”
“I said,”
“I thought you own the house?”
“Yes, bu’ no tha apar’men’,”
“The – ”, she coughed. “Seriously? The – don’t make me laugh. Barney’s been dead for years!”
“There’s a new lan’lor’,”
“A – what? Why did Barney not sign it over to you?”
“’T’s complicated.”, Severus remained stern.
“Comp- why the heck do you need it anyway! Are the memories connected to that place really of such value to you that you – ”
“Memories?”, he grunted, distorting his face. “’T’s no’ ’bou’ memories, trus’ me.”
“What then?”, hers piercing hard into his eyes she tried to break through, although she should have known she wouldn’t stand a chance against his shields.“Oh, my, god.”
“Yes?”
“You’re hiding the Elder Wand in there!”, that he laughed heartily and even convincingly didn’t help, especially not when his expression returned to its former state after a few seconds.
“No. An’ if ye paid attention, ye’d know I dun’.”, that made her actually ponder.
“Would you tell me where the wand is? Just to serve my curiosity?”
“No, as ye know where it is.”
“Do I?”, her eyes widened.
“Mos’ definitely, if ye though’ thoroughly.”
“Then what have you hidden – the stone – you’ve – ”
“Hermione, ye never seize ter amaze me, an’ if it’s through narrow-mindedness. An’ yes, before ye ask, if ye really care ter find ou’ where tha stone is, ye will.”
“Any hints?”
“If ye insis’”
“Not really, I mean, it’s not that I’d need it, but I am curious now.”
“Think ’o ’ow it was found. ’Ow it was brough’ ter yer awareness.”, yes, she did think hard, very hard, her eyebrows narrowed almost to touch each other.
“Dumbledore found it. Well,”, she chuckled, “He didn’t exactly find it. He was looking for it all his life and when he had it, he thought it was just a stone.”, Severus smiled, calm, almost satisfied. “Just a stone – where would I find `just a stone´. Goodness, it could be anywh- well of course.”, Hermione huffed.
“No.”, he shook his head.
“No? It’s not under Luna Lily’s memorial?”
“No.”, his smile remained the same. “An’ I’ll say no more. If ye really wish ter figure it ou’, ye will. Also when’s ’is turned inter a `Where are the Hallows´ guessin’ game?”
“I – I don’t know.”, sighed Hermione. “But what then have you hidden in the apartment!”
“At tha momen’, nut’in’. ’T’s a Safe Haven. Tha’s all. Jus’ tha conditions are complicated. One o’ ’em’s tha’ a monthly minimum fee is paid ter a person tha’s in sum’ way registered in tha Muggle world be ’eir birth name. Jus’ like sum o’ Hogwarts’ protections’ll only work as lon’ as it’s a school. Jus’ like number twelve, Grimmauld Place, will require an Elf as caretaker. Or tha’ tha firs’ owner o’ Malfoy Manor was a musician an se’ tha condition tha at leas’ one musical instrumen’ ’as ter constan’ly stay at tha property.”
“The organ!”, Hermione gasped. “And Voldemort knew that! That’s why he didn’t simply blast it away when Pettigrew got lost in it? Wait. When Rose was born, I joked to Molly that it seemed there would always be a redhead at The Burrow. She said that there can never not be at least one redhead living here. Is – is that – a condition, by chance?”
“It could be, yes.”
“But Hogwarts – how could Voldemort attack it – seeing as it is a Safe Haven, it is supposed to be protected from outsiders!”, the look he gave her, made her understand she had actually voiced the critical point. “The attackers – at one point in their lives, their allegiance laid with someone who had called the school a home once – or even they themselves had – ”, still he didn’t comment, but another thing came to her mind. “And Slytherin’s Basilisk? Because Slytherin had considered the school his home at one point?”
“I wouln’ say at a poin’ in life, rather `curren’ly´. Tom never sto’ed seein’ Hogwarts as ’is ’ome. An’ Harry asked ’bou’ tha Basilisk as well, sum’ time ago. Bu’ ’en ’e remembered sum’thin’ Aragog told ’im. Aragog said ’e ’imself ’adn’ been born in tha castle.”
“And the Basilik had? It – hatched there?”
“Seems likely, doesn’ it?”
“But that’s all really comprehensible. A Safe Haven, providing a homely place to someone or something. So why does your place have to be rented! And how did it remain like that, when you were out of the country for a year!”
“Hermione. It doesn’ matter tha’ we’re in a safe ’ouse righ’ now, under additional security measuremen’s. I will no’ talk ’bou’ tha apar’men’. Also since ye’re merely tryin’ ter sto’ me from finally ge’in’ paid fer tha Auror’s work I’ve been doin’ fer free fer years. Ye go’ no righ’ ter tell me off fer it, ’specially since tha contrac’ includes tha condition tha’ either o’ us three can refuse ter take on any case referred ter us. Unlike stated in tha verdic’, we ge’ paid, ge’ insurance, an’ we’re free ter chose on case be case basis. If any, ye shoul’ be gra’eful tha’ we go’ tha’ black on whi’e an’ accep’ tha’ at leas’ I wan’ ter share me revenue from it wit’ ye.”
“Alright.”, she sighed, nodding.
“’T’s no’ gonna be much anyway. Consider it pocke’ money ev’ry few months. Three years from now ye’ll be valuin’ ev’ry Sickle from it.”
“Oh come on. You are the father, not Ron. I’m still surprised Rose hasn’t grown to compete with Harry’s uncle. She ate so much since she was four I’m really wondering how much she must have run around the house to lose it again.”
“Charmin’.”
“Well, it’s true! Look at you! Not exactly Buddha-esque, are you?”
“’Cause fer sum’ reason, me body puts all tha protein I try har’ ter consume wit’ou’ killin’ meself, towards me hair an’ bones. Trus’ me, I can ea’. I’m no’ a glutton, bu’ I’m no’ anorexic either. I prefer tha tas’e o’ food over tha tas’e o’ vomi’.”
“Alright, alright!”, she moaned, raising her hands defensively. “I’ll stop bemothering you.”
“’Ow very kind o’ ye.”
“Speaking of hair, I really don’t understand why you didn’t always wear it like that. That long, I mean. It really flatters you and the length apparently prevents it from unleashing its – what did you once call it? Natural porcupinic need?”
“Thanks fer rememberin’ tha’.”, he smirked wistfully. “Bu’ bombardin’ me wit’ complimen’s wun’ make me ditch Igor fer ye. Besides, ’e’s way more creative wit’ those.”
“I’m just – I’m not – goodness, let me lift the mood with some positive truth, please.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Tha’ scares me, actually.”
“Why would that – ”
“’Cause I’m scared o’ ye makin’ me wanna kiss ye. An’ if I do tha’, there’s no turnin’ back.”
“Would that be so wrong?”, Hermione aspirated. “Didn’t all of them leave the house for us to be alone? Quite openly and convincingly voluntary? Even Igor? Doesn’t that prove that he doesn’t mind?”
“Hermione – ”, Severus moaned, downright desperately annoyed.
“You want to turn back.”, the deflated breath left her lungs aching, or more so, her heart.
“Yes. I wan’ ter turn back. I wanna turn back in time an tell me thirty-four year ol’ self no’ ter fly through tha’ window an’ comfor’ ye or dance wit’ ye or jus’ goin’ back no even tha’ far and keep meself from leavin’ tha bathroom on tha soun’ o’ tha’ song – bu’ tha bigges’ par’ o’ me doesn’ wanna change a thin’ ’cause tha truth is, ye’ll always be me precious chrysanthemum an’ I regre’ nut’in’ o’ tha’. I’m prou’ o’ tha stupid mistakes I made – o’ tha time we ’ad – an’ I dun’ regre’ it.”
“But?”
“Ye know tha `but´. Ye’re an intelligen’ woman. I know ye know it.”
“You’re right.”, she said bleakly. “I do love both of you, but in regard of all the things I dislike about Ron, I know that he’ll come round if I just let him be and he’ll adapt to my needs not because he has to, but because he wants to and actually can. Though the things I dislike about you, you are unwilling to change and I am unwilling to accept that you can’t change.”, speaking it out loud made it worse, but, licking her lips from the frustration, she had to acknowledge at last that this was the way it was.
“I canno’ allow meself ter frustra’e both o’ us be pretendin’ we could continue lovin’ each other in mind while physically remainin’ sum’ sor’ o’ frien’s wi’t benefi’s, an’ tha’ nex’ ter raisin’ any child as tergether as we can possibly manage.”
“If you truly love, you will have to abandon.”, Hermione nodded to the floor, close to lastly losing her ability to speak. “So we are to raise our child like two individual parents, having it grow up to the most complicated idea of a family.”
“Better than lyin’ ter ’em an’ ourselves, pretendin’ we are an intac’ family.”
“True.”
“An’ ye were righ’.”
“About what?”, curiosity lifted her head.
“I din’ need ter sign tha’ contrac’ so I can give ye sum’ money. I mainly did it fer tha reasons I also mentioned. An’ as a makeshif’.”
“Makeshift? For what?”
“’Cause ye were righ’. Hogwarts needs me.”
“What?”, now she was truly confused.
“Horace is ge’in alarmin’ly senile an’ combined wit’ ’is alcohol consume ’e loses morals more an’ more. ’E’s ’ad ’is bounds, bu’ ’e’s increasin’ly losin’ ’em ter tha poin’ where ’e’s soon gonna be very dangerous fer ’is studen’s. Draco keeps ge’in’ bombarded wit’ disturbin’ letters from ’is wife an’ Minerva’s burn’ ou’.”
“Wait.”, her brows narrowed confused. “So you are actually considering returning to the school? As a teacher?”
“Yes.”
“Wait what?”, she could do nothing but shake her head in disbelief. “But what happened to your so desired quiet life? Your freedom and happiness in your cosy home by the coast? As far as cosy goes up there?”
“Tha’ ended tha momen’ I allowed Igor ter reveal us ter ye. Or maybe, four years prior already.”
“Uh – ”
“I couldn’ ’ave tol’ ye. Tha condition was tha’ ye fin’ us. We were always our own secre’ keepers.”
“But Harry and Ginny – ”
“Were too, bu’ neither o’ ’em would’ve agreed ter tha’. They, made it clear from tha star’ tha’ ’ey only le’ us make ’em secre’ keepers in case sum’thin’ would ’appen ter us. So I lef’ it ter Igor ter come up wit’ an idea ’ow ter le’ ye know where we are.”
“He gave Draco the book with the photo slipped into it – Lucius had never hidden it there – ”
“From tha looks o’ it,”, he sighed. “Tha only thin’ I regre’ is tha’ I din’ fersee ’ow close we’d been ter findin’ tha las’ remainin’ faithful Death Eater.”
“So you would have revealed yourselves to the public anyway – ”
“Yes. Tha plan was ter ge’ tha work done an’ accep’ justice fer our deeds.”
“Why then didn’t you continue the game and let me go hiking in vain?”, curious, she crossed her arms again. “Why did you let me in.”
“It doesn’ matter why I le’ ye in. Wha’ matters now is tha’ yer pregnancy passes wit’ou’ complications an’ tha’ ev’ryone who can observes Horace ter see if a clean change is possible or if I ’ave ter radically step in mid-term.”
“Come again?”, she laughed, high pitched. “So you only return to Hogwarts because you are worried for the students? Don’t you think Minerva is capable enough of finding any other good – ”
“Tha, an’ ’cause o’ tha money. I gave a promise. I already talked ter ’er ’bou’ it an’ she agrees on tryin’ ter avoid a suspicious cut.”
“The money.”, Hermione puffed.
“Yes.”, so puffed he. “I need ter make up fer sum’thin’. An’ ye’ll need it too.”
“Again, Severus,”
“Tha three o’ ye.”
“Ron – ”
“I’m no’ talkin’ ’bou’ Ron.”
“Who then?”
“Ye three!”, he sang emphasising, but she was clueless. “Din’ yer midwife tell ye?”
“Tell me what,”, Hermione hissed impatiently, mainly from panic as her wits put one and one together.
“Righ’. She migh’ no’ve seen wha’ I can feel.”
“And what can you feel?”
~~#~~