Local heavy rain had forced them to stay inside for the past days. The sitting room was lit by the flames in the chimney and some candles floating around. Three of them sat circling the fireplace. A plopping sound and clinking of glasses. Lucius came back from the kitchen, a bottle in the one hand and four glasses awkwardly in the other. He placed the things on the small table in between the armchairs and started to pour the red wine into the glasses, though his hands were shaking a bit when he did so.
“What are you doing?”, Narcissa frowned.
“We survived another month.”
“And?”
“And I thought, we might just have a toast on it – and of course you, Severus, who made it possible.”
“That is really not necessary.”, his expression was rather cold. “And a very terrible excuse for drinking.”
“It’s just a glass of wine.”
“Well, of course it is just a glass. And a second. A third. And another.”
“The bottle really isn’t that big.”
“But addiction can be.”
“Nonsense, Severus. What makes you think I am addicted? It’s only the one or other very occasional glass.”, Severus gave a grunt.
“And you know I don’t like wine, Dad.”
“Well, I couldn’t get the champagne before we left. Be happy with what we have.”
A glass already in his hand, he handed the second to his wife. Severus curled his lips, reached over behind him, giving the remaining glasses a well hidden wave of his hand before he picked them up. Only Draco noticed it, raising an eyebrow when the glass was forced into his hand. The faint wink however, was seen by Narcissa as well, who suppressed a smile on it. She knew from last summer what he had done: back then, when he had offered her and her sister some elf-made wine, she had caught him waving his hand over his glass before he had taken it from behind. Draco sniffed, unseen by his father, and his lips formed the question `Blackberry juice?´. Severus only confirmed it with a brief, mischievous smile.
“Ah.”, Lucius sat back down. “Well then, to life!”, he raised his glass. “And our friend Severus.”, the three lifted their glasses as well, Severus with a little sigh before he sipped from his juice. “So? How long will you still stay with us?”
“As long as it is possible. If I can arrange it, exactly another month. But I would have to return to Hogwarts latest in the evening of September, first. What would this school do without a Headmaster?”, the corner of his mouth shortly flicked up, however, without another change in his tired mimic.
“Then it is settled?”, asked Narcissa. “He wishes you to run the school?”, Severus said nothing on it, yet looked straight into her eyes. “Will you take Draco with you?”
“I won’t go back.”, the boy threw in stiffly. “I’ll stay with you.”
“Severus – ”
“If it is his choice to stay with his family, I will not force him to continue his education.”, Severus leaned back, holding his glass out over the right armrest. “You should be thankful that he rather wishes to spend his time with you.”, a short glance at Lucius, then his look rested on Narcissa again, who nodded.
“And it’s faster to run out of the shield here than leaving the school grounds, if he should summon me.”
“Draco – ”, his father aspirated.
“You know there’s only the choice between obeying and dying. If I think about it now, I’d rather obey.”, Severus dropped an unnoticed smirk. “And anyway,”, Draco held his wand languidly into the air, “He’s not so threatening if you – just agree with him.”, the tip of the wand started glowing silvery blue. “If you tell him what he wants to hear, he’s a little less scary.”
He gave the wand a wave and a stream of bright light erupted from it, the bird rushing through the dim lit room, mingling the fiery light with a blue hue that glided across the spaces the Patronus flew over. His parents were no less than awestruck. Severus’ lips slightly parted as he gazed at the crow that now sat down on the short-legged table in the middle. The animal of light shook its glowing feathers and tilted its head, looking at him when Draco did. Severus noticed it and his head turned to the boy. Then his glass fell.
Severus squinted, clutching the fingers of his left hand. The others knew what it meant. Though each of the four was surprised that only he had been summoned. Gathering his senses past a knot in his throat, he rummaged for a black robe and cloak as well as his white-golden mask.
“Severus?”, Lucius moaned unsure.
“Stay – in the house.”, he murmured in slight panic and dressed; the Patronus vanished.
“What’s it?”, Draco was worried. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Just do me a favour and stay inside until I return.”, Severus threw his cloak over. “Watch the door, Draco.”, he put on his mask and covered his hair with the hood.
“What’s happening?”, Draco hissed.
“Scrimgeour’s dead.”
“What?”, the other three yelped at once.
“The Ministry has fallen. I need to secure a wedding.”
“Wedding?”
“Just do as I say!”, he pleaded, his voice muffled by the mask and hurried over to the door, storming out without closing it behind and flew to the edge of his shield.
Out, he Disapparated immediately. Draco had jumped up as well and slid to halt in the doorframe, staring into the night, his wand dangling at his side, his gaze then dropping to the orange shine on the floor. Just then he noticed that he still held his glass.
Screams all around. The sounds of people Disapparating. His heart pounded heavily as though he was running through the fog in the Department of Mysteries again. Whizzing spells shooting through the air. The smell of burnt fabric. The tent was on fire and it seemed impossible to find them in the chaos, if he couldn’t block out his own emotions and search for those that mingled with them. But it was also to his benefit. In all that turmoil, no one would notice whom he actually helped. A Killing Curse swooshed past his face. The next moment, the caster laid stunned on the floor. He sent a shield on her so nobody would stomp her to death. Flinging spell after spell, of the one and the other kind, he hurried through the panicking mass.
“Ron!”, he heard a familiar voice cry. “Ron!”
There she was, pulling a seeming Weasley after her but he knew who it was. They ducked away under a lost Cracker Jinx that rushed into the night, away over the fields. Then there was something yellow running past him. Just in time, he realised who it was and seized her arm. Luna struggled to break free, but he shortly lifted his mask, making her freeze with a growing smile. A golden dress, topped by long ginger hair. He reached out for her arm as well, making his wand dig into her flesh. She was so beside herself, she didn’t even see who was holding her back. Probably it was the sight of Luna’s smile that stunned her in the very moment.
Their eyes met. Right when she caught Ron’s hand, hazel eyes looked straight into dark brown ones, over the dance floor that was a pond filled with stumbling people. But the boy’s disguise couldn’t shield him from the hooded and masked’s knowledge, who appeared a complete stranger to his son. In the next split second, the dark tunnels drifted on to the boy’s false eyes similar marbles. Recognising his mask, she gave him a little worried smile before she was gone with the real and fake ginger.
Silence smacked into their ears and the darkness poured over them. Though there was a shine from the distance. A silhouette in an open door. He pushed the surprised girls forward into the barrier. Wearing high heels, especially Ginny staggered, but Luna caught her.
“Thanks.”, she mumbled, “What the – ”, and rushed around, finding him having closed up again.
“Draco!”, he yelled, echoing through the night, but his voice wouldn’t be heard outside the shield. “Take them inside! I’ll be right there!”
Draco hurtled towards the three when Severus stepped back out of the safe area and Disapparated to The Burrow once more.
“You – two?”, he murmured when he saw who they were. “I thought he’d – never mind. Come with me.”
“You?”, Ginny moaned, holding her wand tight. “What’s this place? Why are we – what’s this all about?”
“Jus’ follow me, okay?”, Draco hissed and walked ahead.
The girls took off their shoes so they wouldn’t ruin them and their ankles on the pebble beach. Marching after him, they approached the house in the middle of the shield. Another figure stood in the door now, trying to see who Draco brought with him. To grant them access, he stepped aside, confused by who the girls were.
“Draco – what is this? Why did he bring them here?”
“How should I know? Sit down, Dad.”, he gave the door a lazy wand-wave and it fell shut. “He said he’ll come back. So I think, all we can do is wait.”
“Listen – ”, Ginny started, examining her surrounding, “I have no idea what this is supposed to be here and I don’t want to know. So let us go back, if you would.”
“No.”
“No?”
“He said I shall take you inside and wait. Therefore we wait. Got it?”
“That’s not how it works, Malfoy!”, Ginny stormed to the door, but Luna grabbed her wrist.
“No.”, she said softly, with her usual dreamy, calm tone. “Draco’s right. We have to stay here.”
“I give a damn about what he says!”, Ginny snarled, struggling against a miraculously strong grip. “I go back and fight! If they don’t know how to kidnap someone properly, I’ll leave!”
“No, Ginevra. Don’t you see?”
“What!”
“He brought us here because we know too much.”
“Wha-”, Luna shook her head at the protest.
“It’s necessary that we stay here until the danger is over. When they realise that Harry’s gone, they will stop the attack. Then we can return, but no earlier.”, Ginny dropped her shoulders, depleted, and Luna finally let go.
“So it was – him?”, Ginny looked from Luna to Draco and back.
“Of course it was him. Who else would it be?”, her friend smiled.
“Right.”, Ginny sighed.
“Besides, he showed himself to me. Now, what is this place here? Did he put up the candles?”
“Yes.”, Draco calmed down as well. “And it’s our temporary house now.”
“Did he bring you here?”
“He did. What did you mean by you `know too much´?”
“Oh, we mustn’t tell.”
“Sure.”, Draco gave a grunt and sat down, offering Severus’ armchair to them. “Be careful. There’s broken glass on the floor.”
“Thank you.”, Luna sang, walked around the shards and squeezed herself into the chair with Ginny, both dropping their shoes on the carpet in front.
“You must be Draco’s parents then?”, she sat quite straight, dangling her legs against the armchair, causing a consistent thudding sound.
“That is right.”, Narcissa said calm. “May I guess, Luna Lovegood?”
“Yes. And this is – ”
“Ginny Weasley, we know.”, nodded Lucius with a grunt.
“It is quite nice here.”
“You should see it at daylight.”, Draco mumbled, sadly staring into nowhere.
The door opened before his father could fully develop his questioning look and a covered man stepped in, leaning with his forearms against the wing when he closed it. He wiped back his hood and took off the mask, leaving his hair messed. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and examined the looks facing him.
“They’re all safe. Some got hurt, but at least everyone of fair importance is alive.”, Severus panted. “He called them back when he got aware that Harry escaped. The scream still rings in my ears. I have never heard him swearing like this.”, he let out a dull chuckle and eyed the floating candle closest to him. “They will be interrogating you.”, he now spoke to Luna and Ginny directly. “Lots of questions will be asked. After all, you are close to Harry. I cannot intervene in this case, you must understand. It would be obvious then. And I have to watch the Ministry. Too many haven’t left yet and if he actually orders to sort out the Muggle-Born, I have to make sure to keep the extent of the tragedy as minimal as possible.”
“What about the Hogwarts students?”, Ginny moaned; he only breathed for some seconds.
“That is all arranged. Unless they give themselves away accidentally, it shall not be a problem to claim wizarding ancestry in a hearing. There are people who will stand in their parent’s place by taking Polyjuice Potion, if necessary.”
“Which people? From the Order?”
“The Order has got nothing to do with it anymore and you shouldn’t ask too much. The less you know before the Ministry seeks a word with you, the better.”, Ginny nodded.
“Okay.”
“And convince your mother that your return to Hogwarts is essential.”
“I – ”, she was distracted by a wincing Draco.
“Damn.”, he mumbled, pressing his lips together and his right hand on the Mark under his sleeve. “Is this a new habit of him, or what? Nitpicking? Can’t he simply summon us all and put each into separate rooms if he wants to talk to us one after another? The manor’s got enough of those,”
“He did not summon me for a late evening chat, Draco. He did because he expected me to round up the lot. Though none has recognised me in that mayhem, I am sure of that much. It will be easy for me to hoax him.”
“So you’re coming with me?”
“Do you actually believe I would let you go there on your own? You haven’t heard him.”
“No.”, Draco sighed. “I guess, not even a Giant in full enchanted armour would survive him now?”
“Nicely said.”, smirked Severus. “I will bring you two back to The Burrow.”
Two minutes later, Severus pulled Draco along the dark broad path between the high hedges. Ginny and Luna were safely returned to the Weasleys’ house, trying to build up a lie about where they had hidden for those minutes they had been absent. Draco swallowed as he looked up to the windows of the sitting hall. Fire was lit in the chimney and a ghostly shadow was gliding along the rows of glass. They took the stairs running.
“Oh look, who we have here.”, there was a broad, unnatural grin on Voldemort’s face when they entered. “I thought he could walk on his own by now?”, he sneered. “Never mind. You are just in time, Draco. Why don’t you come over here and say hello to Thorfinn?”
Thorfinn Rowle knelt on the carpet before the fireplace. The armchairs had been pushed aside carelessly to give the area some more space. His expression was far from the confidence the tall man normally carried. He seemed inches smaller, his body flooded with anxiety.
“Why don’t you give him a lesson? Teach him what it actually feels like to fail?”, Draco stared in between the two, concerned. “Do I sense hesitation?”
“No, my Lord.”, Draco swallowed, composed himself and stepped closer, drawing his wand.
“Very well, you know what I am talking about?”
“Yes, my Lord.”, the boy swallowed another time and pointed his wand at Rowle.
“Then, do it.”, he became a little impatient.
“Crucio!”, Draco yelled.
The artificial grin on Voldemort’s lips grew when Rowle wound in agony, screaming his soul out. He strode round them once, watching the scene with an almost touchable delight.
“Enough.”, he said and Draco panted as if he had held his breath while he had tortured the man. “Now, Rowle, why don’t you repeat to our guests what you just told me, so they know why they are here?”, Rowle only gargled, breathing heavily. “No? You do not wish to repeat how you had been ordered above all to catch the boy and failed? Draco – let us try again.”
Draco gritted his teeth, took a deep breath and put the Cruciatus Curse on Rowle another time, filling the hall with horrid screams of pain. In his pale face, his struggling tried to break through, but he remained consistent, unwilling to find out what would happen if he couldn’t torture the man any longer.
“This will do.”, the screams faded; in the back, Severus approached the group very slowly. “Now what does this look like to me, you might wonder? This looks either like a weak person or one who does not wish to follow my orders. Both are, I must say, worrying me a bit. I always thought of you as a faithful man.”
“My Lord – ”, Rowle cried quietly.
“Yes? More, Rowle or shall we end it and feed you to Nagini?”, the snake rose her head in a corner of the hall. “Lord Voldemort is not sure that he will forgive this time.”, he paused, “You called me back for this, to tell me that Harry Potter has escaped again? Draco, give Rowle another taste of our displeasure. Do it, or feel my wrath yourself!”
“Crucio!”
Two pairs of eyes were on him. Anger rose in Voldemort while Draco dropped his shoulders with effeteness. As if the screams were of no meaning, they studied his cold expression as he tortured Thorfinn.
“Now what is this?”, Voldemort bellowed. “Stop it and tell me what you mean to achieve!”, Severus lowered his wand and looked at him, no change in his face when he answered calmly.
“If you want someone to tap-dance for you, my Lord, then don’t take a pig. Because, believe it or not, pigs are unable to tap-dance on their own.”, Voldemort opened his mouth in protest, but shut it immediately, not sure what to reply on this. “If you wish your orders to be carried out, take someone who can do it. Just because you were capable of killing at young age, it does not mean any other child can do the same, my Lord. I understand your fury, but this here is no use at all. You possess a great amount of wisdom, my Lord, but it is no benefit to drop it all in a sandpit.”
“Meaning?”, murmured Voldemort.
“Life is not a straight corridor. There are more corridors and doors leading away from it at each yard. Life is a huge maze and if you intend to find yourself at the exit, victorious, I suggest you consider your steps. Orders are not orders when being placed upon the wrong people. Our wishes often do collide with given facts and we therefore are compelled to compromise, my Lord. So for once in a year, I ask you to step down from your throne and consider logical.”
“Is this protest?”, he aspirated, torn between confusion and anger.
“It is an advice.”, Severus said stiffly and stuck his wand back up his left sleeve.
“Advice.”
“Yes, an advice. You cannot just go ordering people around at your will, not caring whether they are actually able to fulfil their duties. Reaching your goal does not only depend on your own interest. Want people to work for you, then dare to organise wisely. Sending the first available gladiator into the arena does not do. They will fail eventually. A war is not equatable with a board game in which every piece is allowed to do the same moves. It is chess and in chess there are different types of warriors. Attack the wrong with the wrong and you will lose, my Lord.”
There was a humming silence, broken only by their heavy breath and the crackling of the fire. Then Severus walked through between Draco and Thorfinn, stopping only a hand broad away from him. For the first time Draco noticed that he was almost a head smaller than Voldemort, but from his angle, it could also appear the other way round, if he tilted his head. Forgetting his emotions, the scene quite impressed him.
“In other words,”, said Voldemort, “I shall rely only on you, Severus? Being selfish – or – attentive?”, he snarled.
“Oh behold the naivety of those words, which just left your mouth, my Lord.”, Severus hissed. “Did you happen to have listened to anything I have said to you?”, no answer, only a glare. “Well, then I am afraid, I cannot help you. Some cases are indeed lost. It would be my pleasure to assist you, my Lord, but if you are so fixated that you do not see where you need help, then I will unfortunately have to accept that you rather die on your path to glory than anticipating one, single, advice. Come, Draco. Let us grant him some time to think about how narrow-mindedly he walks through life.”. he turned, grabbed Draco’s arm and left the manor flying.
The red eyes were still on the spot where they had left. This time, it couldn’t make him frustrated. He was too flustered to even notice that a notorious window in the front had jumped open on its own. To his feet, the normally tall and strong man gave a whimper. That however, did draw his attention. He gave his bony wand a flick and Rowle flew up in the air, slamming with his back against a pillar. When his hands met with the floor, the sound of breaking bones could be heard. But his head hit the floor as well and he passed out before he could feel any more pain.
In a corner, Nagini rolled in at the moment a drained breath fell from Voldemort’s lipless mouth.
“Foolish little children.”, he whispered to his only dear, in the language of those with split tongues. “Whining about life as though they knew what life really was alike. We know better, Nagini. We know.”, the snake unrolled and glided towards him. “Talking about wisdom – about mercy – mercy – what mercy does life give us, I ask you? What mercy?”
“None.”, hissed Nagini, sliding around his feet. “None.”, she repeated, moving up along his legs, only his wide cloak between them.
“Exactly. None. So why should we show mercy then, if not even life does? Or does it? It always has mercy for that boy, does it not? Always sends him – friends – to save his neck – ”, at his own, the head of the snake appeared from over his shoulder. “His Muggle mother giving her life for him – giving – her life – for his – life – ”, he aspirated, stroking Nagini’s head in thoughts, “That is not how life works, Nagini. Not how it – works – ”
“My Lord?”
She had stood there already seconds after the two had left, slightly bowed like usual when she faced him, so she wouldn’t appear impolite. He though hadn’t seen her in the penumbra, too focused on his considerations. Now however, her presence killed all his slackness. With all determination he could get hold of, he answered her.
“What is it, Bellatrix? Why do you disturb me? Have I not asked for privacy?”
“It’s Yaxley, my Lord. He says the Taboo is spoken.”
“As if I didn’t know!”, he growled. “Or do you believe me to be dumb?”
“O-of course not, my Lord!”, Bellatrix shrieked hastily. “You are as much dumb as Severus is Harry Potter’s father!”
“Good, thank you for assuring me I need not question your sanity. Now tell that child downstairs that, unless he wishes to experience what it means to waste my time, he should either come up here with grand news or remove his unworthy presence from these grounds!”
“It will be my pleasure, my Lord.”, with a broad grin of horrible teeth she stepped back outside and was gone.
A frustrated snort left the slits above his mouth and he finally turned for the windows, realising the gap in the neat row. Even more annoyed, he flicked his hand at the window; three times actually, before it would finally fall shut.
~~#~~
Sighing with exhaustion, Draco sank into his armchair and stared into space, starting to tremble as the tension of the occurred slowly wore off.
“You shouldn’t have done that.”, he mumbled at Severus who was back in his chair as well, alarmed at the sight of the empty bottle of wine on the table, and another, being close to – Lucius had apparently found a Whisky Severus had missed when scanning the house. “He’ll be – ”
“Confused and then impressed.”, Draco chuckled awkwardly on it.
“I don’t know what this is, you are living there, and how you can possibly survive it, but since you do, I better shut up, don’t I?”
“What did he want?”, Narcissa asked, worried as she watched her son stand up again and walk up and down in front of the fireplace.
“Release his anger.”, Severus said calm. “But I couldn’t let him this time.”
“I don’t believe that, you know?”, Draco said. “I mean, how can he tolerate this? Everyone else would already be dead, if they talked to him like you did. Why does he spare you? Why does he take your opinion into account?”
“Because he is afraid.”
“Afraid.”, Draco stopped and frowned at him.
“More than you could imagine, and I know where his fears lie.”
“And he trusts you enough to believe you won’t tell anyone?”
Draco pricked up his ears at some noise coming from an open window. It had started raining once more. He went over, rested his hands on the sill and gazed out into the darkness. The sound of the drops hitting the roof, the pebbles and the surface of the lake felt soothing to him, somehow. He normally didn’t like rain much, but now, at the very moments, it was to him as if it was all he had been wishing for. The rhythm – like soft drums being played gently, wanting to bring peace, to bring calm. But someone else was not so pleased about the weather.
“Noddagain.”, Lucius roared annoyed and took a small sip from his almost empty glass. “Shut the window, Draco. I dun’ wanna hear that.”
“No.”, it was one of the coldest words that had ever left his mouth.
“Nou?”
“I like the rain.”
“Since when?”, laughed Lucius, very dull.
“Since I do.”, Draco replied curtly.
“Thass no answer, son.”
“Sure.”
“Whassat?”
“Sure, father. How could I like rain at all?”, Draco snorted. “Rain isn’t classy.”
He spun around, anger on his pale face. Though he was burning inside so much his throat became dry, the heat didn’t affect his skin. Not yet.
“Whataya mean.”, Lucius was on his feet.
“It means, that just because something doesn’t get along well with your reputation; of which I have to note that you lost it; it doesn’t mean I’m not to like it.”
“Draco – ”, Narcissa aspirated, but her husband stopped her with a gesture of his hand and approached his son clumsily.
“Leddim hav’is word. I like ta hear whadde has ta say. He things he has ta play tha revollu- revv- revoll’sher, so leddim.”
“I’m not playing anything!”, Draco raged, his voice echoing outside through the still open window. “I’m just tired of it! Of it all! If you don’t like it here, no one forces you to stay!”
Lucius blinked, clutching his glass. Narcissa clapped her hands on her mouth. Severus sat straight, ready to jump between.
“If you oh so much love me as he says,”, he shortly pointed his hand on Severus, “Then show it and respect my opinion! Respect that I have a life as well and that I don’t want to live it the way you want me to! Respect, that I’m not a Houseelf! That I’m not one of those, you by the way didn’t manage to hold either!”
There was a clank. Draco, his blood finally arriving in his face, had snatched the glass from his father and thrown it into the fireplace where the Whisky, meeting with the flames, burst into a small fireball. The empty bottle on the desk followed with a furious wave of his hand and the rest of the Whisky was gone in with a similar explosion. Then everything went fast. A loud clap and cracking noise and Draco was on his knees, holding his cheek. Narcissa screamed. Lucius’ back met hard with the wall next to the window, struggling for breath as a firm hand was pressed against his throat and another held his wrists above his head. All three Malfoys stared horrified at Severus whose face was distorted with blank ire, but only Lucius could see it.
“Apologise.”, Severus hissed.
“I – S–”, Lucius just gargled, panicking.
“I said, apologise, you stubborn git!”, Severus gritted his teeth, but when he heard Draco starting to cry, coughing, he loosened the grip a bit. “Well?”
“I – I’m – s-s-sor-ry – ”
Severus let go, though his anger didn’t vanish. It slowly transformed into disgust. Draco wiped his mouth with shock. There was blood on his hand, a lot of blood actually and the rising pain brought thicker tears.
“And now apologise to your son.”, Severus said icily.
“Wha– ? I – ”
“Yes?”
But Draco was gone. It hadn’t been easy for him to get up due to his body refusing to fully respond to his will, but he still had managed to. His cheek had started swelling. Wiping more blood, eyes washed, he hurtled upstairs. Severus seized Lucius’ collar, dragged him to the door, opened it and threw him out into the rain.
“Don’t you dare to think you may come in before you are entirely aware of what you just did, you understand me? Or I was your friend.”
He slammed the door shut, threw a short, concerned look at Narcissa and hurried to the first floor, into his and Draco’s dark room, where he found the boy sitting with his back against the wardrobe, curled up into a heavily sobbing ball and holding his aching cheek. Severus closed the door, lit Draco’s bedside lamp from the distance and sat down to his left, trying to unroll him. But Draco bridled.
“Please let me help you.”, Severus said softly.
“I – don’ – need – your – ”, he panted into his knees, every word hurting him.
“You do. Please, Draco. It will only take me some seconds.”
Draco sniffed and raised slightly, looking away. Severus pulled his wand and pointed it at the thick, bloodshot jaw. He really only needed seconds to make it look like nothing had happened, though the tears running from the swollen grey-blue eyes and the blood around his mouth were enough evidence.
“Open your mouth.”, the eyes rushed at Severus. “Please.”
He did as said and Severus held Draco’s lower jar open with his left thumb, looking inside. Draco winced.
“That will hurt just a little more. Ready?”, Draco nodded but let out a splitting scream when the jaw cracked back into place.
Moving the teenager’s head while the light now coming from the tip of his wand granted him a better view, he examined tooth after tooth. They seemed to be alright, but the side of the tongue was still bleeding a bit. He healed it with ease and moved his palm to Draco’s right cheek. Draco avoided his look, though Severus didn’t care. The boy had all the right to. With a sigh, Severus made the dripped blood vanish, tucked his wand, leaned against the wardrobe as well and put his arms around Draco, pulling him close. Tenderly stroking the crying boy’s head, he stared across the small room, not seeing it though.
There was only another wall, once white, but gotten slightly dirty and grey. Unconscious, he curled his lips and his eyes started moving and blinking, but the room in front of his eyes was not the one that was actually supposed to be there. Holding someone in his arms himself, felt strange. It didn’t fit. Not the room.
Severus blinked heavier a few times, like shaking himself out of his thoughts, when the door opened. Almost silent, she glided in and looked around. Finding them, she slouched her shoulders. Her eyes were as teary as her son’s, but she wasn’t shaking; looking utterly sad and exhausted, but calm, just as if the body that had cried wasn’t hers and she was only floating somewhere in the shell. Severus gazed up at her, seeing that she wiped a hand down her mouth. Draco still trembled and chuckled in his arms, the streams of tears not stopping to flow.
“He is still out there.”, Narcissa barely raised her voice. “At least I hope so. Can he leave without your allowance?”
“No. It is an inflexible barrier.”, she nodded only.
“He’s – gone – outside?”, muttered Draco.
“To put it mildly, yes.”, Severus sighed. “I threw him out.”
“What?”, Draco raised, blinking at him from the side, his view blurred from the tears, but Severus’ tired, slightly unfocused eyes were fixated on Narcissa who had wrapped her arms around her body now. “You – ?”, Severus blew his breath through his nose, shortly closed his eyes and stared at the wooden floor between the beds, oblivious of it.
“Severus?”, aspirated Narcissa.
“Whom would you rather like to share your bed with tonight, Draco?”
“Er – what?”
“You don’t expect me to let you sleep alone, do you?”
Severus turned his head and looked straight into the boy’s eyes, only inches away. He brushed his left hand through the hand-broad long, greasy, white-blond strands. A faint smirk ran over his lips when Draco slightly dropped his hand into the touch, closing his eyes. Then Draco fell against him once more, all strength gone at last.
“I’ll have a word with Lucius.”, Narcissa sighed, waiting for Severus to nod, before she left them.
When her footsteps died down, he raised and pulled Draco to his feet. Draco’s white pyjamas soared into Severus’ outstretched free hand. Supporting him all the way, he brought Draco to the bathroom that lit as they entered. After locking, he waved the stool over to the wall between tub and shower and gently sat the boy onto it. He tilted the lid of the toilet seat down and used it as a kind of shelf place for Draco’s pyjamas. Tired, Draco watched him taking off his cloak, folding it neatly and placing it on the lid too. Severus then undid the clasps of his robe and the buttons of his shirt and added the clothing to the straight pile. He stuck his wand into the tiny pouch dangling to his chest and continued with the lower clothes.
A bit confused, but too exhausted to do anything against it, Draco let himself be pulled up and undressed by him as well, his clothes put down on the actual stool. The slightly cool air in the room made him shiver, but Severus caringly moved him into the shower and pulled the curtain shut. He took his shampoo and shower gel from the waterproof pouch and placed the bottles on the small ceramic shelf between the shower hat and tap.
Draco squinted and ducked. He had been stupid enough to look up, right when Severus had turned on the water. Although it was lukewarm, it had come too sudden. Nevertheless it was enough to cost him a little ironic chuckle. He had never shared a shower with someone, but he was too exhausted to complain and the warm water felt good on his skin. Enjoying, he closed his eyes. There was some sound, however, he didn’t care what it was. Then some other feeling, he welcomed as well, somehow. It was a pair of warm hands that spread shower gel on his entire body. Almost his entire body. Draco’s eyes shot open when his hand was lifted and he found some of the gel being put on his palm. There was a soft whisper in his right ear.
“You’ll do that bit yourself, if you don’t mind.”, Draco blushed.
“Sure.”, he gargled, the words having woken him up.
In the meantime, Severus already washed the shower gel off his own body. He now helped Draco with his back. Halfway down, Draco suddenly reclined, resulting in Severus’ hands resting on his hips. Surprised, he looked at him from over his shoulder. Draco only stared at the tiles, the warm water still pouring on their heads.
“What you did – the past days – ”, he whispered just loud enough for Severus to hear him over the water, the back of his head against Severus’ left collarbone, “What you did for me – with me – I – thank you.”, Severus hands glided around the boy’s stomach and pulled him close, resting his head on his right shoulder.
“There is no need to thank me.”, Severus said softly, soaking wet bundles of black hair washed into his face and placed a hint of a kiss on the boy’s shoulder.
“There is.”, Draco countered. “Did you – did you ever – do such – such things with your son?”, giving no answer, Severus pressed his eyes shut. “Do – would you want to?”
Severus only tilted his head to his, sighed and slightly opened his eyes again, gazing down at some random point, watching the drops falling from his own lashes. Draco understood.
“I had made the Vow once before in my life. But I made it too late and in the wrong way. Still I kind of redefined it for myself. Draco. I swore to protect you and if I do something like that, no matter if sealed by magic or trust, I stick to my word.”, Draco sniffed.
“It’s unfair. He should be in my place now.”
“He isn’t.”
“No. But he should, I’m just saying.”, Severus raised his head and looked at the blurred silhouette of the teenager’s face. “Just saying.”, he repeated, some seconds later.
“The story of a life is formed by the choices we make and their outcome. I made some very fatal choices in my life, some in haste, others after considering for a very long time. I regret a lot. But that doesn’t change it. That doesn’t make those things undone, though I wish for it day after day. Nevertheless I can see also the positive results. They might be cruel in some way, but they were for something that is worth the pain. Maybe one day you will understand.”, he lightly pushed Draco off and took the bottle with the shampoo. “Maybe, one day, you will understand the choices your father and I made.”
“You asked me, whom I’d like to – er – I think, I can’t – ”, Draco visibly enjoyed the scalp massage, but not his loss of words.
“Decide? Did I ever say you have to decide?”
“You mean – ?”
“If you wish, I can melt the beds.”
“You would do that?”
“Your mother and I have been friends for many years. It does not bother me if you say you want – ”
“Alright – ”, Draco aspirated. “But – we’d have to tell her – ”
“Don’t worry. I will.”
The shampoo was washed out completely and Draco turned around to just look up to him, the two inches, into Severus’ dark eyes, seeing the honesty. Tight and comforting, the following embrace was. Though as tight as the knot that began to grow in Severus’ throat and he was unable to swallow it down now. Draco was right. It was unfair. But maybe, if he believed in it, if he believed strong enough, he could make Harry feel what he did to the other boy. Maybe he could send him his comfort over the flows of energy the world consisted of. And maybe, he would even remember the feeling and feel less alone than he did at the moment – than both of them did.
~~#~~
Fifteen minutes later and completely dry in his white pyjamas, Draco sat in the middle of the big, seamless bed that used to be two. Severus had also moved the nightstands to each side of it, both lamps burning and casting a strange light on the boy. The sound of the shower could be heard through the open door. Severus stepped in and closed it. Narcissa was still in the bathroom.
“How’s he – ”
“He fell asleep.”, Draco nodded absentmindedly on the soft answer. “Literally.”
“Literally?”
“I could just get his wet clothes off him before he stumbled over and fell onto the bed, sleeping already.”, a dull chuckle escaped Draco. “Left or right?”
“Er – ”, he had to think for some seconds, “Left, I think.”
Severus just smiled and went over, sitting down to his left. Draco examined the blue pyjamas, then his feet. Severus leaned on his right hand, knees bent and flat on the bed. Draco’s eyes wandered up to his gently smiling face that was embedded in a bush of silky black hair. He had never seen it so tufty before. It cost him a smirk. Draco leaned himself on his left hand, forming a mirroring position to Severus’.
“How is you jaw?”
“Fine, I think.”, he moved it a little to check the flexibility. “Doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“Good. Has he punched you before?”, Draco shook his head.
“No. He slaps me, sometimes, but it’s not bad, or so. He does it very lightly. His way of education.”, the boy distorted his lips only now, to a rather odd smirk. “But he hasn’t done it since he came back from Azkaban. The p– no. I’d better shut up now.”
“Say it, Draco.”, Severus smiled caringly. “He can’t hear you. Get it off you. What did you want to say?”
“The positive side of the horror. Damn.”, he whispered. “I wish, I could see what’s on your mind now.”
“Guess.”, the smile didn’t vanish.
“It could be anything!”, Draco moaned.
“Exactly.”
“Guess what’s on mine.”
“My eyes.”
“Tz.”
“Well, you are staring straight into them, so they must be on your mind in at least some way.”
“Alright. You won. They’re not black, right?”
“I am not part Goblin, not at all.”, Draco huffed on that. “It’s a very dark shade of brown. My mother’s. My father had hazel eyes, if it interests you.”
“Had?”
“I have no idea where he went.”, Severus sighed. “And to be honest, I am not really tempted to go looking for him. I’d rather live with the thought that he died somewhen than agonising about probable excuses he would present me with if I should ever meet him again.”, he curled his lips.
“Okay. I take back everything. I’m better off than you.”, Severus’ weary smile returned as he lowered his head.
“Perhaps, I cannot tell.”
“Did you ever – `get it off you´?”, spoken by someone else in that way, the words were like a knife to his heart, killing the source of the smile.
“No.”, he answered, only after a while. “Though my mother knew.”, his eyes moved over the blanket, something else in front of them once more. “We never talked about it. We never needed. She knew.”
“Yeah. Like standing there and not doing anything.”
“Not being able to do anything.”, Severus corrected him, his eyes back up. “What is that urge?”, he changed the topic.
“Urge?”
“You have been fighting against some kind of urge the whole day long, I noticed. Though I have no idea what it could be. So? Whatever it is – let me know. I promise to keep calm on it.”
Draco bit his lower lip, looking at him with narrowed eyebrows. Then he quickly leant forward and placed a hasty kiss on Severus’ left cheek, flushing heavily as he sat straight again, unwilling to look at him. A little chuckle escaped Severus.
“You are welcome.”, he said quietly and tousled the boy’s hair.
“Hey!”, that one murmured, waited a moment and did the same but used both hands, making Severus squint with a grin.
Laughing quietly, Draco’s hands slid down the loose black waves and came to halt at the sides of Severus’ neck, thumbs somewhere around the cheeks. In a long silence, they listened to the muffled sound of the shower. Hesitantly, Draco moved closer. He swallowed heavy when he observed the look on Severus’ face. Moments that appeared like an eternity. Four eyes closed as their foreheads and noses touched.
“Thank you – ”, Draco whispered before he pulled back, “For the sock.”, he sighed, let go and turned, wrapping his arms around his knees. “And the bird.”
For a while, Severus only watched Draco staring around into nothingness. Every now and then, the boy’s eyes flicked at him. He moved up to the head of the bed and leaned back at it, his legs stretched out. Draco half turned his head, then fully. A second later, he stared straight through the room once more and curled his lips. His mother was still under the shower. It might have been something to worry about if he hadn’t known that she liked to spend long times in there, especially recently. Severus however, did worry when the sound returned to his consciousness. Though his concern was erased within a moment.
Draco crawled up to him, flung one leg over his and sat down on his thighs. Questioning, he looked straight into those grey-blue eyes that were filled with sadness. The sadness became determination when the shower was turned off.
“I want to go with you.”, Severus hesitated, unsure.
“Where?”
“The Ministry. You said, you’d have to watch it. I want to help.”
“No.”, from his look and tone, Draco understood that, whatever he said or did, this would be his only answer.
“But I can! You know I can.”, he insisted, regardless.
“Quite certainly. Though it wouldn’t be any help if you walked straight in there. I won’t either.”
“I’m not stupid. You said, those fake parents – ”
“I will not let you bring yourself in danger by entering the Ministry under the disguise of Polyjuice Potion. It is utmost dangerous, Draco.”
“But not for you, right?”, Draco snorted and crossed his arms. “It’s never dangerous for you, of course.”
“I have other ways to enter a forbidden place.”, Severus raised his right hand at which glistened a golden ring, and Draco watched the hand become invisible and visible again.
“Sure.”, he chuckled. “Then – ”
“What kind of help would you be, if you’d have to hang on my arm all the time?”, he noted.
“Then teach me.”
“You imagine this to be so easy.”, Severus head fell against the wall and he shook it lightly. “I know the naivety of youth very well. It has ruined my life.”, he hissed, suppressing tears. “I will not let you ruin yours.”
“But I want to do something! I can’t just sit here and watch days pass! I want to get out and fight!”
“You know yourself that everything will be different when you are back in a fighting situation.”
“Yeah. It will. It will be different from some months ago.”, Severus frowned. “Wanna know why?”
“I am eager to hear, yes.”
“Because – ”, he drilled his right index finger into Severus’ chest, “I finally have something I can gladly fight for.”, Draco snarled, but his head rushed around as the door opened.
Quicker than a fly, he was off Severus and sat to his right again as if he had just been waiting there for her return. Narcissa was too tired to notice. When she looked at their now empty faces after she had closed the door, her shoulders dropped with a sigh. Draco slid down and under the middle blanket, fixating the ceiling. Severus lightly curled his lips with a sad look on him, then his eyes shortly drifted on Narcissa and eventually the window-side corner.
“So?”, Draco grumbled.
“So, what?”, his mother asked and walked over to the bed, sitting down to his right.
“No.”, Severus said and moved beneath his own blanket, staring at the ceiling likewise.
“Fine. Then not.”
“What is this about?”, Narcissa comforted herself under the third blanket after she had placed her wand next to Draco’s on the nightstand.
“Nothing.”, both males murmured at the same time.
“Pardon?”, she chuckled limply.
“It’s private.”, Draco whispered.
“I’m your mother!”
“It is private, Narcissa.”, calm but definite words before silence laid over the room.
Minutes passed. Minutes in which Severus and Draco looked at the wooden ceiling that was there, but not for them. Minutes in which Narcissa eyed them with increasing fatigue. In the room behind them, Lucius gave a short, loud snore. Both Draco and his mother startled when the lights went out. Confused, she raised a bit and stared at the wall.
“That was me.”, Severus mumbled.
Draco snorted a laugh through his nose and closed lips, smiling broadly. Narcissa snickered quiet and laid back down. Severus couldn’t hold back a smirk either, but it was gone when Draco spoke.
“You think, Slughorn will let me in for NEWTs?”
“I thought, you don’t want to go back?”
“Just – saying I would, what do you think?”
“You had an E in both his and Minerva’s OWL.”
“I know,”
“He will let you, I am certain. Minerva might, under the circumstances. But speaking of which, do you actually want to take a NEWT with Amycus?”, Draco contorted his face in the dark.
“I’m not sure – I mean, the OWL would have been a waste. All the horror with Umbridge for nothing.”
“Horror?”, Severus chuckled. “Do I have to remind you that you joined her squad?”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about having to learn all that theory without being allowed to see what I learnt. Theoretical tests are – gruesome.”, he moaned. “And I can do the Unforgivable Curses.”
“Actually,”
“Alright – two of them.”, Draco snorted. “But that’s not the point, is it? I mean, he’ll let me pass, don’t you think?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. And, whom do you think, you will be demonstrating those on?”
“Oh well – I thought, I could just torture his sister, laughing like Bella, and blame it on the blood.”
Lucius was deeply enough asleep to not hear the roaring laughter from the room behind his bed.
“Do you want me to kill us now, or shall I wait for you to have that fun?”, Severus chuckled after about a minute.
“Dunno.”, Draco grinned. “How strong was that Whisky? I couldn’t read before I slammed it into the fire – ”
“I believe, strong enough that a Giant could sing at his bed and he wouldn’t hear it.”
“Incredible.”
“Yes. Just months ago you were yelling at me about being chosen and now you come up with such thoughts.”
“Thanks to you.”, the boy sighed and the smile on his mothers face faded as well, without notice.
“No, Draco. I know that you never wanted this. There was a time where you thought you might want it, just to impress him and then you thought it was on you to straighten out his failure. That is, I must say, a very brave thing to do; especially, considering you have grown up with a lack of confidence in serious situations.”, Severus said softly. “Draco, if you really wish to finish your education, I will do my best to bring you through it without having to harm someone for getting you good marks.”, the words were like ice on a severe bruise for Narcissa.
“Thank you.”, both said at once, not possible to tell the voices apart.
“I think I’ll – sleep now – ”, Draco considered. “Goodnight.”
“Good night, my darling.”, Narcissa shortly stroked through his hair and laid her hand on his shoulder then, closing her eyes.
“Good night, Draco.”
Under the blanket, a hand found the boy’s left, fingers enclosing. They shut their eyes almost simultaneously.
~~#~~