“You’re okay?”
She could understand it fully. The way he leaned on his right arm, his forehead buried in the fist, the squinted eyes – he wasn’t tired, something troubled him. And by the way he curled his lips, she knew this was how she felt inside when thinking of the moment Dumbledore wouldn’t be just absent, like he was again from the staff table, but gone forever. Had he found out? Had he put one and one together and figured, that the search was probably not the only thing that kept the old man busy? Did he know Dumbledore was dying? Or was it rather – what she knew Ron had meant to achieve by asking? Because, he precisely put the full weight of his head onto the scar.
But neither the concerned looks, nor Ron’s words had made a thou of a change on Harry’s face. Either he had indeed miraculously fallen asleep in exactly that state without his muscles slackening, or his thoughts were so far away, they needed probably a bucket full of icy water to bring him back to his breakfast that laid untouched on the plate between his elbow and an old book from the library. Since it was opened and she sat on the other side of the table, she hadn’t bothered finding out what it was about. But now that Ron brandished his hand before Harry’s face so as to startle him – yet unsuccessfully – the gust made a page turn.
Probably it was her trained eye, but the pages she now got to see were dealing with the Disillusionment Charm and its varying efficiency in regard of the caster’s abilities. The lower end of the second page indicated that it was possible for very powerful witches and wizards to cast the charm in a manner it would require – what it would require and what it actually was that required something, she would only find out if she borrowed the book herself, or Ron managed to flip the page again. Yet whatever it would be, it certainly made no difference to their friend’s appearance.
“Is it your scar?”, Ron indeed asked what she had predicted. “Harry?”, and not even now he would react and Ron only looked at her, pleading. “Has he been petrified or something?”
“No idea.”, she shook her head honest and worried. “Harry?”, also her try was –
An extremely delighted and purely natural laugh came from the staff table, turning not only their heads for a moment. And lastly Harry’s head slid from his fist, his slowly opening eyes moving towards the source. Whatever it had been, Severus leant on his right arm in an alarmingly similar way as Harry had, but his upward rolled eyes and the curled lips were of clear annoyance. To his left, Professor Burbage had meanwhile lost the capability of controlling her laughter, probably fuelled by something he had added then before his lips returned to their state. More hanging in her chair already, she quivered against the backrest, eventually almost all eyes in the already half empty hall on her. Only Severus still stared at the ceiling.
Slughorn on her other side however, had become ashen and appeared close to having to face the decision whether he should throw up whatever he had had for breakfast so far or solely burst into tears. The sight was so distracting that Hermione only noticed Harry was gone, when he was already halfway to the gilded doors with the book. There was a loud scratching sound and the heavy ball that was Slughorn, heaved himself up from his chair and slouched to the back door. While her laugh still resounded in the otherwise silent hall, he pushed it open and slammed it shut behind.
“Would you two mind – ”, McGonagall started.
Looking at either in exchange, from her position she obviously couldn’t see what the majority of the others in the hall did: His eyes still at the ceiling in some distance, the lips transformed to an utmost malicious, yes, downright triumphant smirk and Burbage, calming down to a grinning chuckling, held her flat hand up. There was a loud clap.
“What the fuck – ”, Ron gargled, not alone among equal or similar assessments. “Did they just high five? Did they really just – ?”
“You can calm down. He’s gone.”, Severus sighed and the annoyance was back, if he though changed neither the position of his head, nor his eyes in specific.
“He’s never – gonna – forget that.”, the woman grinned on, took a deep and helped herself to a glass of water.
“Neither will anybody else. Didn’t you say, one of your former classmates has connections to the Obliviator Headquaters?”, she nearly choked on the water.
“Honestly?”, the chuckle wasn’t fully gone, nor was the grin. “I mean, I don’t know, he’s dropped out last year. It’d be faster to kill them all.”
“Don’t tempt me.”, Severus murmured slow to the arches. “Where’re you – ”, he jerked up as she had raised and now went towards the back door as well.
“I’d better go checking whether he strings himself up.”, she snickered on her way, his eyes drilling into her back. “If he does, Albus’ll have us both sacked and regardless of my hair colour, I’m not a potato.”
“Are you actually meaning to apologise?”, he moaned.
“Do I look like Albus? Hell, no. I’m just a little cut short.”, with a huff, he too raised and went after her, fast enough to catch up before she reached the door. “What now? You too?”
“Shut it. I’ve had enough tea to drown the Squid.”
Her laughing back to the otherwise flabbergasted hall, she laid her arm around his back and opened the door for them. McGonagall meant to verbally halt them.
“You two do though know that you are a month too late for April F– ”, the door fell shut, “Ools.”
All she could do was give the door, staff table and even middle corridor a long sigh when turning her head back. Her big eyes flicked around for some moments, but shaking her head, she eventually returned to the rest of her breakfast, while a quiet murmur filled the hall once again.
“Are they married or what?”, both Ginny’s and Hermione’s head zoomed at him, being the only ones left at the Gryffindor table apart from some seventh-years further down by the doors.
“What the – ”, his sister breathed.
“I mean, they’re really getting weirder every day. Sure, they’ve been taunting Slughorn all throughout the year, but that was – weird. Really weird.”
“Yes, it was.”, Hermione said cold, but felt something boiling inside.
“Hey what – ”, Ginny got up.
“I’ll better get going.”, she sighed.
“To where? I thought you had a free period?”, Hermione called after her, distracted enough to instantly forget about Ron – for the moment.
“I do. But I gotta get Luna off the Quidditch Pitch before we’ll see whether Slughorn shows up for class or has actually hung himself.”
“What’s she be doing on the Pitch?”
“Dunno. Stroking Thestrals, I guess.”
“St- what?”
“No idea!”, Ginny sang, her back on them. “She said she’ll be there, that’s all.”
“Blimey. Have they all gone mad now?”
“I don’t know, Ron.”, Hermione sighed to the empty space before her as she had already cleared her plate, which was gone.
“But you can’t deny it’s curious.”
“Huh?”
“That now. And they’ve been hanging around together a lot, lately.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Hermione’s open coldness was back, so was that strange anger.
“I may have been hormonally passed out for some months,”
“Not only hormonally,”, she huffed.
“But is there something going on nobody knows? I mean, they’ve already been strange last year, haven’t they? In the Hospital Wing? And he’s been defending her against Umbridge all year.”
“He has defended quite a number of people against Umbridge, if you should not have dared to open your eyes,”
“Sure, but if you think about it, she’s seeking his presence a lot, isn’t she? And he doesn’t seem too averse.”
“Ron, they are friends.”
“Friends.”, he frowned with obvious disbelief.
“Yes. They already were as students. He gave her tutoring in Potions, and they became friends.”, she was momentarily angry enough to reveal that, and it was not like Burbage had asked her to shut up about it when she had told her, had she?
“Pfuh!”, Ron chuckled. “Really?”, she said nothing. “I mean, okay, but – look, I know it’s really unlikely for him to make bonds of any sorts, other than hateful, but there’s clearly something – ”
“Are you honestly trying to ship Snape?”
“Er – ship? What?”
“Oh, sorry, that is a rather new term among Muggles, describing the action of fictionally bringing people into a romantic relationship who aren’t supposed to be in such.”, her coldness towards him remained, so did her piercing stare into his blue eyes.
“Oh. Wait – now that you said – ship – what? No! Listen – ”, Ron stammered at her shaking head.
“Sure. Who’s next?”
“Next?”
“Well, first you tried to pair him off with Karkaroff, remember? And now it’s supposed to be Burbage? Why must he, to you, of course be married to anyone who is scurrying around him?”
“What?”
“Why, yes, two years ago he was gay and illegally married to his former Death Eater fellow and now that one is dead and – bam – he immediately marries his colleague,”
“Hermione – ”
“Of course. After all, we are talking about Snape here. After all, he must have been dating the whole school already, the most sociable guy of all.”
“Hermione!”, Ron laughed, but still tried to keep their conversation at a lower volume. “I’m not – pairing him off! It’s just – do I have to remind you, it was you who told Harry and me that we should stop acting as though Snape wasn’t capable of getting himself into some decent friendships?”
“Get to the point, Ronald.”
“Sure, the odds are probably as high as for Harry snogging Draco Malfoy, but – and I already did, didn’t – I? Hermione?”
“Yes?”, she knew her inner boiling must have become visible at last, due to the heat on her cheeks and she pressed her teeth shut.
“You – have – is there something I should know?”, he eyed her with a mix of concern and a striking sort of discomfort from whatever thoughts there must be spinning in his head – and she just hoped –
“No, he’s not snogging Malfoy.”
“I know – but you’ve been – defending Snape – all along – I – ”
“What?”, jerking from her glare with a murmur; partly real as well as played; she truly hoped it was enough.
“Nothing – I – ”, Ron went blank.
“Me? When I asked `who’s next´, I wasn’t actually expecting you to be – ”
“Sorry – I didn’t mean – no – ”
“Save your breath.”, she huffed, seized her bag and jumped up.
“Hermione!”
“You’ll need it for when I return to strangle you.”
Squinting shortly to the Entrance Hall, she disappeared there, upstairs.
~~#~~
“Good afternoon, Severus.”, he startled, spinning on the heels. “I see, you have discovered the delight of spending free time with watching the landscape change in the sunlight?”, Severus turned back around with a sigh and leaned against the parapet again, clutching the small object in his hand.
“I am up here more often than you might guess.”, he huffed, his eyes drifting over the school grounds.
“So am I.”, the calm voice said as he drew closer, his hands behind his back. “On his way to the Great Hall for preparation, Filius dropped me the information; quite upset, I must say; that you overreacted in one of his choir practices some time ago?”
“Does he say so?”, Severus grumbled, avoiding the Headmaster’s look. “Well, maybe you would like to hear my version as well?”
“Indeed, Severus, indeed.”, he gave up trying to look past the curtain of black hair; instead, his eyes shortly fell on the thin, swaying chain hanging from Severus’ fist.
“He is arrogant, selfish, and has not learned a thing over the years.”, Severus snapped, staring at the lake’s surface glistening in the low sunlight.
“Oh I will not argue on this with you.”, Albus sighed. “He is one of a kind, our Filius.”, a grunt from the other man. “Now tell me, Severus, how are you and Miss Granger doing?”
“Why does that interest you so much?”
“Because I care for your welfare, you know that.”
“That’s what Horace keeps saying as well.”
“In fact, he does care for his students.”
“Oh yes.”, Severus chuckled utmost ironic. “But it does not help anyone trying to tell you what lies behind. Who would believe me, you see?”
“And what would this be, Severus?”
“Haven’t you noticed the way he looks at Harry?”, his head was on Albus, despair written all over.
“Of course I have. After he figured that I put Harry on retrieving his true memory, he has been avoiding the boy. But that is over and off the table since Harry has, at last, succeeded.”
“Guess, I know.”, Severus snorted and turned back to the grounds.
“You do?”
“He was stupid enough to sneak into the hall after his success.”, Albus was visibly surprised.
“Did he?”, a curt nod. “So you have let him get away with this?”, a chuckle from Albus.
“He has enough trouble to deal with already.”
“Ah, I see. You – ”
“No, you don’t. You don’t see anything at all. Otherwise you would know what I was talking about. So I ask you again, have you happened to notice at any rate the ways he looks at Harry?”
“Now what are you driving at,”
“You should probably pay Azkaban a visit and ask Lucius.”
“What does Lucius Malfoy have to do with this?”
“He relished those looks.”
“Ah, yes. Now I can remember. Attention-seeking, he was, young Lucius. Always in for some fame; a pity where it has brought him.”
“You still don’t get it. I swore to myself that I would never tell anyone, but I’m afraid, I cannot hold it back any longer. Lucius was one thing. He wanted it and he was of age, lastly. So were several others. But Harry is something else. That is just a little bit too far over the border. Incredible, how you can still trust your own eyes so completely when they have been blind to even such people as Gellert Grindelwald. I can understand that you like Horace. He doesn’t make it easy for one to not to. But it disgusts me to be aware of his ulterior motives. It disgusts me that you refuse to see facts when you became fixated on an opinion. One thing, you and Harry strangely have in common.”
“So do you. Each and everyone has, in ways. Therefore, given the fact you have become so skilled not even I can pick a teensy bit of information from your head, why won’t you tell me what disgusts you so much about Horace Slughorn?”
“It disgusts me, that after all these years he has taught here without being caught by you, I could still not turn him in.”
“Turn him in for what?”
“Open your eyes, Albus!”, he moaned at the old man, his features distorted with woe. “This man is as much a saint as those three rapists you have agreed to guard the students out of Hogsmeade!”
“Pardon me, Severus?”, Albus frowned.
“’E’s a goddamn’ paedophile!”
“That is a very heavy accusation – ”
“An’ ye refuse ter see it jus’ ’cause ’e’s go’ sum’ brillian’ mind! Jus’ like ye refused ter see tha carnivore inside Grindelwald ’til yer own brother crushed tha’ nose o’ yers, probably hittin’ tha righ’ nerve tha’ woke ye from yer daydream! Ye know, sum’times I find meself close ter pay ’im a visi’ an’ ask ’im fer tha precise spo’!”
“Severus, keep your voice down.”, Albus gave him a warning look. “Or you will be heard through any open window of this castle.”
“Shall ’ey know! Shall ’ey know wha’ ’eir former an’ new Potions Master is! I dun’ ’ate Horace an’ I dun’ care wha’ ’e does as lon’ as ’ose ’e wishes ter dig ’is filthy fingers in, agree! Bu’, ye excuse me, tha way ’is greedy eyes drill inter Harry’s is too much fer me!”
“So I was right, then? That it isn’t just Lily? That you actually care for her boy?”, Severus’ shoulders sank. “How much, Severus? Has he become like a son for you already?”, and back was the fury.
“Dun’ – ”, he raised a finger in protest, but failed to impress.
“Don’t I what, Severus? Face you with your emotions? James Potter’s son; have you actually started to care for him, as I guessed, or even more, like he was your own? Have you grown the feelings of a father?”
“Dun’ ye talk ter me like ye knew wha’ a father feels!”, he shook his head, tears coming. “Dun’ ye talk as if ye knew wha’ it’s like ter ’ave a son! Ye know nuthin’ ’bou’ it, ol’ man!”, his fist, the chain jumping, was held up ferociously in front of Albus’ chest as he threw his dialect at the other man’s face.
“And what do you know about it, Severus?”, the Headmaster remained calm. “You never were much of a father, to no one. You cannot know – ”
“Ye’re tha one who doesn’ know anythin’. Ye dun’ know tha pain when ye know yer child hur’ or even see it happen. Ye dun’ know tha agony when ye yerself are tha one ter do it – ”
“Forgive me, Severus, but you are speaking of things you have no idea of.”, Albus remained staid, though couldn’t fully hide his disarray.
“Dun’ ye say tha’ as if ye knew me – dun’ ye – tell me – tha’ ye know wha’ – it’s like – ”, heavy tears ran from his dark eyes when he spoke with a shaking and now quiet, but still thronging voice, “Ter keep ’avin’ ter look – at yer own son – an’ no’ bein’ allowed ter hold ’im – ter tell ’im – ter – ter play tha arsehole in fron’ o’ ’im – jus’ ter – save ’is life! Dun’ ye, Dumbledore!”
Albus’ jaw dropped with real shock. Somewhere below, a door opened. Severus’ tear-washed face turned and he rushed off, downstairs, the iron steps clanking loudly under his shoes. For a moment, Albus could only stare at where Severus’ face had left. Then he hurried after him.
“What was this, Severus?”, he moaned but the only answer he got was fierce stomping. “Don’t run away from me!”, he shouted after him.
“What the – ”, another voice said, some floors down. “Severus? What – ”, more footsteps, speeding upwards.
Halfway up the tower, she caught him. Stumbling, he tried to get past, but didn’t manage to gain enough strength to push her arms off him. Drained at last, he fell onto her and sobbed heavily into her shoulder. Albus froze at the sight.
“What did you do to him?”, Hermione moaned at the Headmaster. “What did you say?”
“I – ”, he pondered, “What are you doing up here, Miss Granger?”
“I was worried because he missed lunch again – so I went looking. Severus – what happened?”, she then whispered through his hair into his ear, holding him close.
“I – ”, the fingers of his left hand clutched into the fabric on her back while the right fist just dangled between them, the chain of the locket following its movement. “I – t-”
“Severus – ”, Albus aspirated, “Is that true? Is that – really – ”
“I – t-tol’ – ’im.”, he only panted into Hermione’s shoulder, hanging on her like a black sack.
“Told him what?”, she asked softly.
“’B-bou’ Harry.”, his entire body was shaking heavily in her arms, but she just closed her eyes with a sigh. “W-wha’ ’e is – ”
“That’s good.”, Hermione sighed.
“No, it isn’!”, Severus cried.
“Sh. It is.”
“You knew, Miss Granger?”
“Of course I knew, Professor. Unlike you, I do listen to him.”
~~#~~
“You will wait here for me. I try having another word with Severus. Maybe he has calmed down in the meantime.”
With these words, Dumbledore dropped her in his office – and she knew that they were a hope in vain. Dim rays of golden sunlight fell through the old windows and on all sorts of things. Rows of books, peculiar instruments – and Fawkes sitting on his bar. The Phoenix slightly raised his head when the door was closed, but went back to sleep right after. All portraits on the walls were empty. He had sent them away. At least he had some sympathy for her, she thought. It would have been horror to wait there alone, all eyes of the former Headmasters and Headmistresses of Hogwarts on her.
Studying her surrounding, she walked further into the office and – startled. Then a grunt escaped her. She seemed to really have a talent for this. The doors of a cabinet in a corner had opened when she had stepped onto the stone plate. But it wasn’t a gramophone this time. It was a gilded vitrine, filled with hundreds of shining phials and a flat silver bowl resting on a sort of mirror-surrounded pillar that was revealed to her. She knew it to be his Pensieve and an obvious collection of memories. Getting curious, she stepped closer.
Marvelled, she looked at the phials, each of them labelled with delicate handwriting. One particular phial caught her attention. Hermione did a glance over her shoulder to check whether the portraits in her sight were still empty. She then carefully opened one of the fragile doors and picked the phial. The silvery copy of a memory floated in it like mist. `Mrs Snape and son Severus, summer 1972´ she read silently. It was about him – as a child – and his mother. Could she resist? Could she – no. Eager to find out what it was, she pulled the crystal stopper and poured the memory into the mirroring surface of whatever medium it was that the Pensieve carried. The silver haze became a black, ink-like liquid as it sank. She placed the empty phial on the edge of the post, took a deep breath and dove her head in.
Loud splashing noises. Heavy rain fell on the cobblestones and dark roofs of the many identical grey brick houses, separated by narrow alleyways. The sky was as grey with clouds, and smoke rose from the chimneys. However, Hermione remained dry. It took her some seconds to realise who was walking past, wearing a black hooded coat and – holding an umbrella. She followed him to a door where he knocked four firm times.
“Who is there?”, the muffled voice of a woman called from inside. “Identify yourself!”
Hermione looked up to the first floor where a light burnt in a window above the door. A rather small silhouette leant against it. She could see the blurred image of black hair. The child sat with its back at the window, obviously on some furniture that stood there, maybe a desk.
“It is I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts. I have written to you about my coming past week. The last words I have spoken to you personally more than twenty years ago were, `I am proud to see how far you developed during your education. May you succeed in everything you do in your life´.”
The lock clicked. A long black wand in her right hand, a pale woman peered out. She was approximately four inches smaller than Hermione and had a rather sullen face, but there was a faint, worried smile on her lips. The dark eyes framed with round metal-rimmed glasses were exactly those Hermione had looked into so deeply many times already. Her son had inherited them, just like his own son would have his mother Lily’s eyes then, years later. Long black waves fell down to both sides of the sallow skin and onto her old-fashioned, tight black dress that looked like her own mother could have worn it already.
“Good afternoon, Professor.”, she said hollow and stepped aside. “Please do come in. Shall I – ”
“Oh, not necessary, thank you.”
Right in the moment he was inside, the wet umbrella and coat were gone, revealing a short blue robe that perfectly matched the bright colour of his eyes. His hair and beard were a bit more grey than the silvery white Hermione knew. She followed them past a dark wooden staircase and through another door on the other side of the narrow anteroom. The small room behind it, leading into a window-side kitchen, was quite drab, yet cosy.
Two old armchairs stood by the fireplace, an oval mirror hung above the mantelpiece. Hermione had the strange feeling that it possessed another layer that was only visible at a closer look. A layer in which she believed to see faces with hollow eyes staring back. It made her so uncomfortable that she decided to take her eyes off it and examine the rest of the room.
The walls were entirely covered by shelves, filled with all sorts of old books that took in every possible space. Left to the door-less arch to the kitchen was another window, a small desk and a chair in front. The kitchen was brighter than the sitting room, but the once white walls had gotten slightly grey over the years. So had the cream coloured cupboards. Mrs Snape offered the Headmaster one of the armchairs by the burning fire.
“Would you like something? Tea, perhaps?”, her pronunciation was uncommonly clear and Hermione understood that otherwise she might also drift into that strange dialect Severus slipped more often.
“Oh no, thank you. I am afraid, I will not be here for too long. These are tough times, you see; I have work to do apart from Hogwarts as well.”
“I do see.”, she sat down on the other armchair, very straight, legs together and her hands on her thighs. “There are rumours that he is gathering more followers.”
“True. Things are getting worse.”, Dumbledore sighed and sat down as well, the tips of his fingers laid together above his crossed legs. “But do not fear for your son.”
“I don’t. He knows to take care of himself, much more than I do, by now.”, she shortly lifted her bandaged right hand in which she still gently held her wand. “What is it that you want? You said nothing in the letter.”
“Of course not. Writing openly is dangerous these days. Even for someone like me. They have been trying to recruit you?”
“They had. But I have other plans with my life.”
“I can secure your house, if that is your wish.”
“I don’t need your protection, Professor. You may not have noticed, but you could only enter this house because I let you in. It is rather the Evans’ house, you should care about.”
“They are Muggles.”
“Exactly. And my son’s friendship with their daughter Lily might bring them in danger. Her sister is a nosy little brat, spreading the news about what a `freak´ Lily is. It will not be long and they will hunt them. If you want my son to be well, make this Petunia shut her mouth.”, Hermione couldn’t fully push aside the amazement on how calm she spoke, not moving her big eyes from Dumbledore’s.
“I will see what I can do.”
“Wonderful. So, to repeat myself, what brings you here?”
“Your son, naturally. He is a very unusual student.”
“Now is he?”, there was the flicker of a smile on her lips, gone as fast as it had come.
“Indeed, yes. He comes very much after his mother.”, Dumbledore smirked, looking over his half-moon glasses. “Talented in everything he approaches, enthusiastic on learning hard, correct – in some way,”
“Some way?”
“Alas, to be honest, the teachers are complaining.”, Mrs Snape raised an eyebrow. “One especially. Professor Slughorn.”
“He tends to complain on being beaten, before he then takes a photo of that student to place it on his disgusting shelf.”
“Ah yes. That shelf. But you must see, your son does too well in the subject already. Horace fears, that within another year, he will reach N.E.W.T. standard. I will not tell you how to treat your child, I merely suggest you to hold back on what you teach him.”
“Is it a crime to prepare him for life?”, her thick eyebrow fell, both of them narrowing now.
“No, no, of course not!”, Dumbledore sang, worried. “But he is just a child!”
“One would think, I should know better what he is, not? After all, I am his mother? Severus has many interests and I do not bring anything near him he does not want to learn. I do in fact tell him if I cannot consider it wise to teach him this or that. He always accepts my decision and can wait patiently. If you are here to tell me how to be a better mother, then you are at the wrong address, which, given your brilliant mind, you should be aware of.”
“It is not my intention to give you any more lessons, not at all. Your life had enough of them for you already.”, there was not a change in her slightly angry expression.
“What do you want.”
“Due to a peculiar talent of his to find the cleverest ways to avoid me, it had been impossible for me to speak to Severus at Hogwarts. So I – ”
“So you thought, you just come over and say `hello´? Interrogating him?”
“Not nearly as rude as this, no. I would only like to ask him a few questions, if you allow.”
“Severus, dear?”, she remained calm, speaking as if her son stood only feet away. “Would you mind coming down, please? You have a visitor.”
Seconds later, a door banged open and hastily running footsteps echoed in. For a moment, Hermione couldn’t hold herself. He was actually cute looking, his chin-length black hair standing off from his temples down and his big dark eyes beaming with the broad grin his mouth formed above the white shirt and black trousers of apparently his school uniform he had already grown out of. Though the grin was gone immediately when he saw who was sitting opposite to his mother.
“A good afternoon to you, Severus.”, Dumbledore said. “I see from your reaction, you rather expected your friend Lily? Well, I am sorry to disappoint you so terribly.”, the boy turned on the heels and wanted to leave the room already, but his mother stopped him.
“Severus.”, she said softly and the chair from the desk moved over to them, turning in mid-glide, without a movement of hers. “Why don’t you sit down and let him have his word?”, Hermione could see his shoulders lift and sink again, but didn’t hear the sigh. “It will not take long, I am sure of it.”
Hermione moved over to the fireplace when he turned and approached the chair to sit down, just like his mother, equally straight, his hands and legs in the same position. His eyes as well, pierced straight into Dumbledore’s. But there was no anger, it was a kind of sadness, yet a kind she hadn’t seen on his older self so far.
“Did you rob your eyes again, sweetheart?”, Mrs Snape said concerned.
“It is nothing.”
“You should read more delightful books.”
“It isn’t the books.”, he still looked at Dumbledore whose blue eyes moved between the pairs of dark ones. “It’s the letters.”
“The letters?”, the old man got curious.
“They hurt my eyes after a while. Become blurred.”
“I see.”, Dumbledore nodded. “Would you mind getting a book from one of those shelves around us?”
“Which one?”
“Oh – any.”, Severus stretched out his hand and a book flew straight into it, visibly surprising Dumbledore. “Now that is interesting.”, he mumbled.
“Excuse me, Sir, but what is so interesting?”
“That you can summon objects nonverbal and without a wand. You truly are a very talented young man.”
“That is not a talent, no matter what Professor Slughorn might have told you. None of what I do. I am just not as lazy and insecure as the others are.”, Hermione could spot a held back sheepish smile.
“Very well. Now open this book and read from it.”, there was a longer pause, then Severus sent the book back to the shelf. “What is this? Refusal?”
“You do not want me to read from that particular book, Sir.”
“Then why did you summon it?”
“You said, `any´.”
“Indeed,”, Dumbledore chuckled, “That is what I said. Forgive me my mindlessness. Perhaps,”, he raised a finger and opened a blue pouch that hung on his belt, taking an ancient looking book from it, “This one then.”, he gave it to Severus who examined the fragile, stained binding; Hermione saw that the title was written in runes. “I have noticed that you eagerly studied the meaning of runes already.”
“There is no need for me to read from it. Which part do you wish to hear, Professor?”
“You know the Tales then?”
“Name me a single child of non-Muggle-only descent that has not heard Beedle’s tales and I will recite the entire book to you right now, whether it is in English or Gaelic, you may chose.”, Severus said curtly.
“That might just be true.”, considered Dumbledore. “Then tell me, what do you think of the Tale of the Three Brothers?”, Mrs Snape sat up even more straight than already, but her son remained stiff.
“You are not here to question me about myths, Sir.”
“In fact, I am not entirely sure anymore. So you think it is only a myth?”
“Until proven fact reveals itself to one’s consciousness, a human being can never be sure of what is real and what not.”, Hermione knew very well that Severus was totally different, but that didn’t sound like a twelve year old boy anymore; not only to her, but not to Dumbledore either.
“Very wise words from a child. Who taught you those?”
“No one.”, he said brief and obviously honest.
“Are you sure?”, Dumbledore looked over his glasses again, raising his right eyebrow.
“Are you accusing me of lying?”
“Oh no, not at all! I was just wondering – never mind.”, Dumbledore sighed and leaned back in the armchair, his fingers together again. “What do you think of James Potter?”
The child’s look didn’t change, but he got up and went for the door again, leaving the ancient book floating to Dumbledore’s lap. This time it was the old man who stopped him.
“Severus – ”, the boy halted in the frame. “I am sorry. I should have known that you do not wish to talk about him. I was only curious to find out whether he hurts you.”
“And why would that be of your interest? Even if he did, you would not intervene.”
“What makes you think?”
“Because that perpetual arrogance knows to set himself borders. He knows how far to go without pushing over the limits.”
“So he does hurt you?”
“There are some sorts of wounds, no one can see.”, Severus snorted. “And he is unaware of such, as much as everyone else. But I will not let him hurt Lily, no. He is a coward when he is alone. He does not threat me at all, Sir. You should rather worry about him than me. He is the one who will get himself in trouble by his wish to bathe in glory.”, the fury was conspicuous, even though he had continued rather calm. “He will fall just like his father.”, Severus added very quietly, almost impossible to hear over the cracking of the fire.
“What was this?”, Dumbledore sat up, the book still on his lap.
“The truth, Professor.”
“Ah well, if you say so, I will not question you about him any further.”, he took the book and exchanged it with another from his pouch. “Why don’t you sit back down and try this book for instance?”
“Why?”
“Let an old man follow his suspicions, if you please,”, Dumbledore waved to the chair with the book in hand and Severus sighed; he then shuffled back over, snatched the book from him and sat down, opening it at a seemingly random page.
“It was a clear autumn morning,”, he started reading, “When Mary left the empty house for the lonesome walk she had been longing for so much. The rain had washed the streets, though unable to carry away the fallen leaves. Flat and wet, they were glued to the ground. Thoughts spinning in her head. She had hoped for the cool air to wipe them away, but they seemed burnt in so deeply, she would have to get a knife and cut them out manually. In honesty, she had considered actually doing this, but there was no knife in her house that would be sharp enough to break a skull. Not yet.”
Hermione’s eyes widened at the words. How could Dumbledore possibly let a twelve year old boy read that book? Aloud? But both Severus and his mother were quite indifferent to the words. He was a very good reader, Hermione thought.
“A stray dog vanished into the next alley, unimpressed by her presence. Nobody cared. She could see a curtain close from the corner of her eye. It slightly amused her how much people had gotten to fear her. But it was their own fault. All their fault. Why becoming a logger when expecting to die from an axe? Why taking a job as a taxi driver when fearing to lose life in a car accident? They only got what they had been seeking for. They were afraid of dying. So was she, somehow. She feared herself. How ironic it was that she had written a letter the evening before. It laid up on her desk. Maybe she should lock it away. It was not the time yet to go. More fear had to be banished from the world.”, every few words, Severus blinked. “So much fear. Fear could kill. They had to learn. Who else would tell them, if not she? If god had a plan, why shouldn’t she be included? After all, Father Abraham prayed for the lost ones nearly every Sunday. Why shouldn’t it be her, to be the one to help them find salvation?”, the longer he read, the more Severus’ eyes blinked.
“Severus,”, Dumbledore interrupted him, taking off his glasses.
“Yes?”
“Would you – try those?”, the boy blinked another time, confused about why he held his glasses towards him. “Just try, all right?”
“Why – ”
“Try.”, a warm smile; Severus knew as much as Hermione that it was saying `take them or I’ll force them onto your nose´.
“If you insist, Professor,”
“Certainly, I do.”
Severus huffed, grabbed them and put them on. They were a bit too large, but he managed to make them sit on his nose and ears. Then he continued reading.
“There was a distant – sound – drawing – her attention – ”, his forehead wrinkled like Hermione had never seen it before and he looked up to Dumbledore, keeping his astonished gaze.
“Far better, is it?”, the man smirked.
“Yes – ”, Severus aspirated, shortly staring back at the book and at him again.
“My dear boy, you need reading glasses.”
“I – that’s – ”, he slightly blushed to the book.
“Nothing to be ashamed of.”, Dumbledore chuckled bemused.
“But – glasses are expensive!”, Severus moaned.
“Ah well, I knew you could be saying this. Let me see – ”, he pushed his hand into the pouch once more and pulled some Galleons.
“No.”, Mrs Snape said hastily. “I will not accept charity from you, Dumbledore. I can – ”
“Don’t be silly. You cannot mend your son’s eyesight magically.”, the smile stayed, but his words were cold as he let the Galleons fly to a casket on the mantelpiece, where they locked themselves in. “He loves reading. It would be a shame if it ruined his life.”, the doorbell rang. “I think, I will be going now.”, and Severus handed back what wasn’t his; Dumbledore raised when his glasses rested on his crooked nose. “You have my gratitude for your patience. Both of you.”
He blew a quiet whistle through his fingers and a flame erupted in mid air, transforming into a big red bird that stayed floating there, flailing heavily. Dumbledore seized its leg and was gone in another flame. In the very same moment, her view became black fog and she felt herself rise from the Pensieve automatically.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione stepped back a little, looking at the empty phial. Only now, she realised that she had no idea how to get the memory extract back in. Though it occurred that there was no need for it.
“Found out anything of interest, Miss Granger?”, the Albus Dumbledore from today said behind her, making her rush around in shock. “No worries.”, he gently raised a hand. “I will not blame you for your curiosity.”
“So?”, Hermione returned mentally to where she had been before he had left the room. “Did you find out anything of interest, Sir?”
“Ah well,”, he sighed exhausted, “I am afraid, Severus is as much a wall as he had been in his youth. He used to be a highly skilled Occlumens very early already.”
“Well, then you’d better accept that, Professor.”, she pouted. “If he didn’t tell you anything, I won’t either. I swore not to tell and I keep my promises. If he’s more to you than just an object to study, you’d be well advised to take things like he presents them to you. If you excuse me, Sir, I have homework to do.”
Leaving the Headmaster aghast and the door open, she stormed out of his office. Passing walls without paying attention to her surrounding, she hurried down a corridor and into the big tower with the Moving Staircases. One of them changed when she climbed it. A little frustrated, she took a detour over two lower floors. Finally she arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. The woman was talking to someone.
“I do not see any need for you to hang out in front of me.”, she spoke to a curled up black ball on the landing. “What are you doing this for? Is it a girl again?”, no answer. “The – Granger girl?”, Hermione could see him wince at the name. “Serves you right, dating a student. Tz. That couldn’t have gone well.”
“Oh shut up if you don’t know what this is about!”, Hermione hissed, making several portraits in the near and him startle up – his face was smeared with tears. “And she’s right, Severus. You can’t just sit there like this. What if a – ”
“Exactly.”, the Fat Lady murmured. “You excuse me,”, she swung open, missing him by about an inch, revealing Ginny.
“I knew that was your voice – ”, the girl said frowning. “What’s going on? Whom is she arguing with? Whom are you arguing with?”
“Is anyone else in there?”
“No. They just went down to the Great Hall.”
“Er – why?”
“Haven’t you seen it on the black board? The choir’s having a concert.”
“Oh – yeah – there was something – why aren’t you there too?”
“It starts in half an hour. I can live with a seat at the door.”, Ginny sighed and looked down. “Bloody hell!”, she jumped at the sight. “What’s – ”, she looked from his messed face to Hermione’s sad smirk.
“Dumbledore.”, said Hermione.
“Dumbledore?”, Ginny moaned. “What – ?”
“Yeah. He’s just been a bit rough.”
“Rough.”
“Yes.”, Hermione curled her lips, lightly shook her head and took a deep breath.
“Looks more like he rubbed an iron spiked handkerchief over his face, if you ask me.”
“Nosy old man, you know? Stretched some borders a bit too far.”
“He can do that?”
“Oh you’d be surprised.”, Severus snarled lazily. “Very touching example, to say.”
“Thanks. So, I don’t reckon you will go to the concert? Either of you?”
“I have no interest in witnessing Filius’ most recent crime.”, now both girls raised their eyebrows.
“Actually, I don’t either.”, Ginny sighed, slouching her shoulders. “So, what are you two doing now?”
“Nothing.”, Severus pushed himself up from the floor. “You two will have to find a way to spend your time.”, he looked at Ginny. “I have to make sure that a specific one of my House isn’t abusing the situation to sneak around anywhere dangerous.”
“If you mean Draco Malfoy, he isn’t, Professor.”
Even the Fat Lady shrieked at the awareness of her voice being there. Suddenly, like come from thin air, Luna Lovegood was stepping in sight from behind Hermione.
“He entered the hall with everyone else, Sir.”, she said dreamily. “If he wants to get out again, he will have to groom a new talent. You see, since those things happened to Katie and Ron, I got a bit curious. After all, Harry suspects him to be behind those attacks. I was just trying to find out whether he accuses the wrong person. He tends to be like this, you know? So I kept an eye on Draco. Something really bothers him and he keeps disappearing in the Room of Requirement.”
Everyone stared at her like she was some kind of very ugly thing, but she didn’t care. It actually amused her to see them puzzled.
“Why aren’t you down as well, Luna? The concert starts in some minutes!”, Ginny moaned.
“Oh I’ve left the choir, you see. Some time ago already, to be honest.”
“You – what?”, it was Severus now who murmured.
“I liked singing in the choir a lot, Sir, but Professor Flitwick became rather unpleasant over the last weeks. Don’t worry.”, Luna interpreted his look right. “I don’t think it was entirely your fault. He was always like this before a concert. Quite annoying actually.”, she shrugged. “Takes away all the fun.”
“What does she mean with `your fault´?”, Hermione asked him.
“I had a little quarrel with him about his methods, that is all.”
“You know his – methods? What kind of methods are we talking about here?”
“Filius is a perfectionist – and gets it all wrong with the choristers. He pushes them to extreme accomplishments, but they have to suffer a lot on their way.”, Severus sighed. “How did you know where to find us?”, he added to Luna. “Even I – ”
“Oh it was just a bit of coincidence, Sir.”, she smiled. “When Hermione didn’t come, I thought she might be somewhere in the castle with you. So it was basically Ginny I was worried about. I didn’t expect you to be up here as well. Have you planned anything, Ginny?”
“No – I – ”
“Good. I would like to show you something.”
“Er – yeah! Why not!”, she understood that Luna had a particular motive. “See you, then.”, she chuckled at Hermione. “Professor,”, she added and he gave her a short nod as she walked; as the other two realised a short time later; in direction of the Astronomy Tower with Luna.
“I like her,”, Severus sang, frowning tiredly, when they were out of sight.
“Me too.”, Hermione chuckled limply and stepped closer.
He watched her taking his right fist. The locket was still in it. She gently opened his fingers, picked it up and hung it around his neck where she tucked it under his clothes. After bringing them in order, she rested her hands on his chest and slightly lifted for giving him a kiss. He wouldn’t leave it at a single one though. Tenderly holding her face, he forced her into another and her arms glided over his shoulders as they found themselves unable to stop.
Some of the portraits around, including the Fat Lady, sighed, but they didn’t care. They knew that none of them would ever mention it in front of a living being – or the ghosts of the castle. It was their duty to keep up the teachers’ secrets. An unwritten law to defend the privileged ones, ancient already.
Both Luna and Ginny not being in the hall, was the best opportunity she could have been presented with. They made a perfect excuse and no one would expect someone like him listening to a choir anyway.
“What kind of book was it?”, she broke their kissing after some minutes.
“Hmm?”
“The one you didn’t want to read to him?”
“Er – what?”, Severus lightly pushed her away, giving her an utterly confused look.
“Well, I felt the need to take a little vengeance. So I spent my time waiting for him with watching one of his memories. Maybe you can remember – summer seventy-two – he visited you and your mother.”, Severus sighed.
“You nasty beast.”
“I know.”, Hermione giggled with a mischievous smile. “I know the book you read to him. So what was the one you put back before he gave you the Tales of Beedle the Bard?”, she watched him thinking.
“You don’t want to know.”, he moaned when he remembered.
“Is it so bad?”
“Positive.”
“Worse than `Snorkers in a Snicket´?”
“Far worse.”, Severus smirked.
~~#~~
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