“Whow!”
A group of people sat around a large, round table, lit by a bright sun that fell in through the high windows. The magnificent, cloudless blue sky watched over them, but the roof was completely restored with all enchantments. Still standing against the walls for now, the long House Tables and benches had been repaired as far as they had been damaged and hundreds of candles were floating peacefully above, not burning however. He had noticed on his flight up from Hogsmeade that a lot of work had been done already and when he had seen the Entrance Hall and marble staircase he remembered having been a total dump, he couldn’t deny his amazement. But finding the entire staff of Hogwarts united at lunch together with Aberforth, his breath caught.
“Harry!”, Hagrid lilted full-throated and jumped up so fast he made the whole table shake, causing goblets to fall. “Sorry – I dinn’ –”, he mumbled, not seeing Harry’s grin but rather the others shaking their heads before McGonagall cut him off by undoing the mess with a gentle wave of her wand. “Really sorry.”
“Hey! What brings you here, boy?”, asked Aberforth, smirking. “Come on, sit down with us. There’s an empty chair. Sybill won’t eat here. She said, she doesn’t want to sit at a table that would hold thirty-seven people once she sat.”
“Can’t think why, but that sounds oddly familiar.”, Harry meant. “Actually I – er – need a Pensieve.”, he decided to be honest. “But yeah – why not? I mean, it’s not like extracted memories can grow legs when they’re stored in Mokeskin, can they?”
~~#~~
Loud chatting and lively music filled their ears the moment they entered, quite unnoticed. Only a few heads in their vicinity turned, just for devoting to what they had done before, one second after.
“Doesn’t look like the place a notorious drunk and beater would hang out, if you ask me.”, Draco mumbled.
“I’ve got that thought as well. But it’s the only hint I have. We’ve met him right down at the corner, just like I said. Maybe lunchtime wasn’t the best to chose.”
“Hello, youngsters!”, warbled the landlady behind the counter, looking like a sturdy Viking woman. “How can I help you?”
“Um – ”, Hermione stepped up to her; Draco preferred to stay behind. “We actually just wanted to – well, we’re looking for someone.”
“Right, give me the name and I give you the number of drinks they had within the last decade.”, the woman grinned.
“Tobias Snape.”, the expression that instantly drifted on her face was not what Hermione had hoped for.
“Oops, you got me. Never heard of him. Sorry, darlings.”
“Was worth a try, thanks.”, they already turned to go when a dishevelled, very old looking man called them back.
“Snape, ya say? Tobias Snape?”
“Yes – ”, Hermione gasped and spun around.
“Damn it! Been a long time since I heard that name! Well, his father was a workin’ mate of mine,”, her heart did a jump. “Lived down in Whitechapel. Dunno what became of the boy since he moved ter Cokeworth with that skinny blackhead ages ago, but ya’ll never know, do ya? If I were ya, I’d ask in the Blind Beggar down there. Sam an’ I’d been hangin’ around in there after shifts. If ol’ Barney still exists, he might be able ter tell ya bits.”
“That – that sounds great – thank you, Sir!”, Hermione aspirated.
“Nah, girl, there’s never been much of a Sir ter me,”
“Um – Madam, what did he have?”
“Don’ be a fool, kid.”, the man waved her off. “Ya can’ go ’round payin’ the bills of everyone who’s tellin’ ya they knew ol’ Sam! He’s been famous among the Black Cats! Anyone who’s seen the last century in the East End, can tell ya stories ’bout him. An’ I tell ya, the Blind Beggar’s the place ya’re lookin’ for.”
“Thank you so much, Sir. It really means a great deal to us.”, almost in tears, Hermione shook his knobbly hands with both of her own.
“Nothin’ ter thank, girl, not at all.”, he presented her with a warm grin of uneven yellow teeth, the rows missing some.
Not even five minutes later they stood in front of a similarly old pub that, as Draco stated already before they entered this time, had more of a place someone like Tobias Snape would be spending their free time in.
All those grumpy figures hanging around in there, gave her the feeling that war hadn’t really ended. Misery hadn’t left the pub, or more, it was like all the misery in the world had sought shelter in it. Not much differing, and actually resembling the pub’s name in ways, the old barkeeper who was cleaning a glass with a dishtowel eyed them as if they were some sort of aliens – or as though he couldn’t fully see them. That was probably because he indeed was blind on the left eye, or because they were far from the average age of guests and the light coming only through the dusty windows was giving the room the atmosphere of an abandoned shack by the sea, being home to the ghosts of long dead sailors, although the street outside the dirty windows was bustling with people, who also were nothing but ghostly shadows passing by. It even smelled like fish, smoke and too much alcohol.
Hermione gulped, feeling Draco doing the same, and walked on, her nose unusually high in the reeking air, as though she could lift it above the cloud. The distance to the counter seemed like a hundred miles walk, watched by dozens of greedy beasts that were longing for nothing else than digging their poisoned teeth into fresh flesh, but they bore it. Finally arriving, Hermione climbed an empty barstool, noticing with slight amusement that Draco had his difficulties doing so.
“Whataya wan’?”, growled the barman with an even more croaky voice than she remembered Mad-Eye Moody’s to have been.
“Information.”, Draco downright spat; the murmuring in the single room stopped instantly as though he had said an awful swearword.
“Ta drink, I mean. Firs’ my business, then your business.”
“Cola.”, Hermione said quickly.
“An’ tha stiff?”
“Er – what she said.”, the barman turned to get two bottles from a cooled drawer. “What’s that?”, Draco moaned under his breath.
“You’ll know soon enough.”, Hermione mumbled back.
“Two times kola.”, grunted the barman when he fiercely placed the bottles in front of the two and opened them.
“Um – ”, Hermione blinked at the red content.
“Yes?”
“I actually meant the other, but – er – never mind. I’m fine with that too, thanks.”, she sighed and took a sip, while Draco decided it to be better to just eye his bottle with cautious interest.
“So?”, the tall man leant onto the dresser on the other side, baring teeth that looked comparatively clean and intact, with a downright haughty sneer and his greying brown hair looked much cleaner and smoother and browner than from further away, which made it quite unclear whether he was in his fifties but had seen too much touble, or had survived eighty years way too well – a sensation Hermione couldn’t miss. “Information?”, Draco cleared his throat.
“On the whereabouts of Tobias Snape.”
“An’ why would two young folks like you want ta know about him?”
“We need to tell him something.”, meant Hermione.
“Which is?”, the barman continued very slow, as though meaning to bind them to their stools long enough for Death himself to arrive.
“Our business.”, she said taut, but fascinated by how scary a blind eye could be, especially when combined with a dirty grey brown mane.
“Then I can’t help ya.”
“Alright.”, Hermione huffed. “We thought, he’d probably want to know that his son is dead.”
“Oh shit – ”, the barman’s malevolent stare fell off immediately and he looked like he had received a smack in the face, but nevertheless he chuckled oddly when he straightened just a bit, blinking heavily with both eyes, the left lid twitching a little more. “Shit – I – I mean – now well, he might know already.”
“What do you mean?”, Draco’s brows narrowed.
“I mean, he might’ve seen him on tha other side. Snuffed it years ago. God, how I miss that crappy language of his – ”
“What?”, Hermione moaned.
“Ol’ Ma’am Canham said they’d carried him out in tha mornin’, of December twen’y-eight, if you want it precisely. That was three years ago, but I remember it like it’s been jus’ yesterday. She came ta me, totally shocked.”
“No.”, she aspirated. “No. That can’t be – ”
“Said somethin’ about `his son´ havin’ visited him.”
“At least that’s right,”
“There’s somethin’ fishy about that, I keep tellin’ people. He turns up after years and his father dies only days after.”
“I know what this might look like, but if you are trying to say that – ”
“Yes, that’s what I’m tryin’ ta say. Ev’ryone knows he’s been as much a saint as his own father, hittin’ his wife an’ son, an’ darin’ ta come back here an’ confessin’ it all with his las’ sip of booze ever. Hoped he’d changed not only his preferences of drinks then. But his dear son might not have forgiven him. I wouldn’t have either. But awful enough he killed him after Chris’mas an’ even cried at tha doorstep when they brought him away.”
“Then he hasn’t killed him.”, Hermione sighed with relief.
“Tha boy’s a psychopath, I tell ya. Deserved death too.”
“Take that back!”, she was on her feet so quickly that she had no idea when she had left her seat; which crashed to the floor; or even put down the bottle.
“Easy, girl, easy!”, murmured the barman with his hands raised, being the only one who hadn’t startled when she had unintentionally made several glasses behind him explode on their shelves in addition. “Get in there.”, he gave a short nod on a lone door at their right, next to the u-shaped counter. “I said, get in there!”, the man hissed and they decided to better follow his order. “An’ close it behind.”
Slightly embarrassed, Hermione slouched over with Draco and meant to close the door as well, but Draco stopped her just in time for the handle to snap up without latching. Careful not to make a sound, he pushed the door open only two more inches broad and they peered outside. Hidden behind the counter, the barman had drawn a wand and repaired all the shattered glasses. Then he cast multiple memory modifying charms on the guests, who turned their heads away from him almost simultaneously before he left his position and joined them. They slightly jumped up the footworn wooden stairs when he slipped in and huffed at them before he thoroughly closed the door at last.
“Knew you’d be eager ta find out. Now, sorry if I’d upset you. Had ta make sure, you’re tha right ones. He told me you’d be upset if I said that, you know?”
“Er – what?”, Draco blinked.
“Came ta me, you see? Said that if he’d die, it wouldn’t be long someone would come askin’ for his father’s whereabouts. Said, it’d be a girl, mos’ likely. Nothin’ too precise. Too many people around. Slipped that into tha cup after he’d drunk his tea.”, the man reached into his vest and pulled a corked phial from an inside pocket. “Carried it with me ever since. I’ve got a Pensieve upstairs if you want ta look at it now.”, he gave Hermione the extracted memory which she clutched as though she had just received the biggest treasure on earth.
“I have my own, thanks.”
“Didn’t dare ta look at it, but I think, it’s tha truth about how Toby died. I don’t think Severus killed him either. I’d never seen him that miserable. An’ I didn’t tell anyone a thing that’d put bad light on him; I really liked that guy, well, both. Known Severus since he was a lil kid. It’s my flat they’d rented, and Severus kept payin’ me all tha years, but told me ta not drop a breath about his father, neither the other way. Can’t blame ’em. However, Toby’s been dyin’ ever since he left tha two. He already looked horrible when he moved away from London, but when he returned, he was a wreck. Hasn’t gotten much better over tha years. But you should’ve seen him before that Chris’mas. Came in, pullin’ me right in here where we stand now, grinnin’ all over tha face an’ tellin’ me that he’d seen one of his sons, under Polyjuice Potion but alive an’ with a girl.”, Hermione couldn’t avoid blushing a little.
“That would be me. He escorted me to a safe place because the dad of my – of one of my friends got attacked.”, she smirked, ignoring the side-glance Draco gave her. “Did he tell you how he recognised him? Severus didn’t – ”
“Well, I always knew he was kinda empathetic. Bein’ tha Muggle he was, it was scary ta hear him tellin’ you what you felt like at tha moment. I think, after all tha years, he’d still known his son. How’d he die? Tha Prophet didn’t write about it. Curious, since they usually mention Hogwarts teachers,”
“That’s because the Prophet hasn’t written about anyone who died in the battle.”, Hermione grunted, unintentionally angry like every time the topic fell.
“Oh. Sure he died there.”, the barman meant to sigh, but his breath got stuck.
“He sacrificed himself for us all.”, said Draco. “With `us´, I don’t mean – ”
“Death Eaters, no. Sorry for your father, by tha way. Yeah, I know who you are. Don’t want ta be rude talkin’ about him, but from what I heard, he’s been ill enough too since Azkaban.”
“He has. Actually I think, everyone’s better off now, especially him.”
“Well, life’s a bitch.”, he could finally finish his sigh. “A whole big chaos an’ not all of us find their way. Should know that, seein’ tha los’ ones every day. Now, get back ta your kola before they miss me. Still need tha bar for a livin’. All of us here.”
~~#~~
It had gotten later than three o’clock, Harry could tell by thinking back when he had heard the bells last. Now all he wished to was making his way up to the Headmaster office alone, as fed as he still was. The others had meanwhile taken on the biggest task: restoring a whole front of the castle that had collapsed during the battle. By what he had heard from them and his friends, that meant long corridors and parts of classrooms on five floors as well as Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. On his way up, he had shortly seen the ghost gliding through one of the intact corridors, homeless and howling a rather pitiful song. Never had he hurried for a shortcut faster. Only this way, he had been able to avoid her.
Though like usual when having a goal, some fortune got all its arms together for delaying him. This time, it sent him another pathetic whimper from a corner. Harry stopped and walked backwards to see who it was. Frozen by the sight, though he had faced it quite similarly before, he stared down at the boulder of a man, crouched up on the floor against the wall, crying heavy tears into his moustache. For a little while he just stood there, aghast, until the washed pale gooseberries rolled up to only make the elderly man gasp with shock.
“H-Harry!”, he moaned feebly and his lips trembled under the white beard.
“It’s – ”, Harry swallowed something that had gotten stuck in his throat and unconsciously raised a hand to appease his former teacher, “It’s fine, we all cry sometimes.”
Curling his lips, he knelt down by his side and, though hesitantly, placed his hand gentle on the other’s left shoulder, startling him again. Seeing him so deflated, all the pride having left him, saddened Harry and he felt guilty for not having seen it then, when he had sat in that old armchair with a glass of wine, mumbling stories about old days with a smile that had actually been nothing but a lousy attempt to hide a mountain of grief above which a disastrous storm had rained, then flooding the valley below, the surface still rising.
“Tell me about him.”, Harry said softly, but was presented with heavy, confused blinking.
“Who?”, the walrus gargled.
“The man you knew. It’s hard to miss you’d known a different man than I have.”
“Oh Harry – ”, the sigh that left him sounded heavier than his belly appeared. “But alright – I can see that you have the right to know. After all – well, I think, I should start with the moment I met him. At first, I had believed to just have another one of those reckless little brats in front of me, you see, one of those who knew better, no matter what you would tell them. Stared up at me with an obvious disgust – I reckon, his mother might have vaccinated him. She hadn’t liked me much, I remember.”, he wiped off some of the tears with his sleeve and a woeful smile drifted onto his white cheeks. “Whatever. So he sat there, with this really grim impression – and kept mumbling into nearly all of my sentences. He corrected – like – every word I said! B-but when I told them to begin, he just started – without a look into the book – or the instructions on the board – he didn’t even follow it precisely. Of course I red-flagged it, but he dismissed me angrily. Oddly enough, he had been the only one to be done in time and the result had been marvellous. Just like his neighbour’s, who however had followed the rules.”
“As wondrously satisfying it is to hear a story confirmed I might have just as well guessed, Sir,”, sighed Harry and took his hand off to sit in tailor-fashion, “I actually meant Lucius Malfoy.”
The smile slid off so fast he had expected to hear it land somewhere. In addition, the blinking was back and the more yellowish eyes tried to avoid his. A little panic in his quiet voice, he spoke on, to the opposite corridor wall.
“But H-Harry – w-weren’t we on f-first-n-name terms – already?”
“We were.”, Harry said hollow, his expression though not as blank as he wished it to be. “Sorry. Force of habit. And you should be able to remember that you can’t trick me out of a question I desperately seek to be answered. Especially not as pathetically easy as you tried now.”
“Alright, alright!”, he muttered, but wouldn’t look at Harry however. “If it satisfies you to tantalise me – ”
“Not at all. I merely came to prefer understanding a matter before I proclaim my bottomless rancour for it.”, the way the man eyed him now was utterly questionable, but he couldn’t care less next to his need for another confirmation. “I want to know the man you knew, Horace.”
“Fine, if it really pleases you; he was the complete opposite to Severus. Candid, social – oh well, rather socially acceptable, but he was favoured and he knew to relish it every second, while Severus did his best to avoid that for himself, even years after Lucius had graduated. He cared more about his popularity than marks and he was really good at wrapping everyone around his little finger.”, Horace demonstrated it by holding up his right hand in a fist, with the little finger stretched off and the smile was back. “But you must understand,”, he quickly threw in a defence, “He never dared to – ah – win my – ah – ”
“Affection?”
“Harry – ”, he aspirated, visibly troubled.
“That word has quite a number of meanings; like so many, dependent on the context.”
“Right. Yes, right you are.”, Horace sighed and Harry decided not to pick. “But he also had a talent for commanding people, for making them obey, you see. That is why I eventually granted him a Prefect’s badge,”
“And I believe, by that moment – he had been wrapped up in his new task? Fulfilled it eagerly? And reported every teensy detail to you?”
“I cannot recall when you have learned to be at least a fairly good Legilimens,”
“Oh I don’t think I’d unnecessarily annoy myself with the effort of breaking into your mind. It’s all there in your eyes anyway.”, those, as if on command, turned away to the corridor wall again. “Listen.”, Harry was back on his knees and the hand on Horace’s shoulder; and their eyes met – the ones distorted by woe, the others by sympathy. “I’m sorry.”
“No need – ”
“I’m sorry I asked,”
“What?”, the woe clearly diminished with that gasp.
“While I knew.”
“While you knew what?”
“Believe me,”, Harry said softly, “Horace,”, the look he received gave him pause and he used it to study the eager eyes flicking between his due to the little distance. “I recognise it when I see it.”
“What – what do you recognise, m’boy?”, the elder breathed.
“You loved him.”, he said firm and the moustache trembled. “And there’s no use denying it. That’d just be a crime to his memory.”, Horace’s lids sank and his whole head with them. “Look, I only wanted to know if he had been a good man before he joined the Death Eaters.”, he received the faint attempt of a nod. “Because he was when he left them.”, the head jerked back up. “I’d hated him, sure, even more when he tried to summon Voldemort to hand us over, but looking at it now, I can only see a father. I think, if I had been in his position, and the only way to save my son was sentencing a couple of other teenagers to certain death with no visible chance to save them too – I – ”, Harry shortly blinked into space, but sure that this was his opinion, he looked at him once more, “I’d have decided for my son, no matter that it meant it’d look like I devotedly serve the bad guys. I’m not a father yet, and I don’t know how it would feel, but I think I would have done so.”
“But why – ”, Horace hissed pleadingly, “Why did he then – leave his son – why did – he – ”
“You’ve been away from his private life for a long time and I hadn’t had any time yet to ask Draco, but there must have been something, some immense guilt, something that made him hate himself so much that he could have – probably believed – that the world was better off without him, I don’t know. Draco said it’s better this way for everyone. He’d treated him badly as a child. I think, Draco woke up at some point and realised that it wasn’t right – just like he’d woken up on many other things, in time to get out – and if Lucius realised that, what sort of father he had been to him – I don’t want to imagine the fights they may have had. If Draco blamed him, and kept blaming him after the battle,”
“Is – is that really your theory?”, Horace looked as if he saw a phantom materialising before him to tear out his heart, again.
“I think so, yes.”, Harry nodded. “I know it’s not nearly as simple as what the Prophet wrote, but if it’s that – the odds are that Draco might blame himself for his father’s death. I really don’t want to worry you, but if he’s like his father in this case, he might try to end his life too.”
“Harry!”
“I know it’s – just speculations – but say it’s not and it turns out to be the truth, I’d really like to know if you could figure a way to stop him efficiently.”
“Me?”
“After all, you knew his father much, much better than I did. Would you help me save that bastard’s life?”
“Horace? Harry? What – what by all means are you doing here? On the floor?”, they hadn’t heard her coming from the corridor, but it might have been because she had come as a cat and they only saw her when she transformed. “Oh goodness – ”
“Ah – Minerva – yes – I – ”, Horace dropped a weak chuckle, “Lost track of time, I suppose. Harry, would you – ”
“Sure.”, not without some difficulty, he helped him up.
“Thank you m’boy.”
“Now come, Horace.”, Minerva held out her hand. “Do some handy work to get your mind off.”
“Yes, yes, yes. Ah – Harry – I – I don’t know how to – say – er – Lucius – he liked little adventures, you see? He liked a bit of a thrill, if you know what I mean.”
“Slightly, yes.”, he didn’t bother the glare, but he knew he should have tried to shield that thought from him.
“He was most open if he was – in a new situation. Something exciting, but it had to last long enough for him to get comfortable with it.”
“Right.”, Harry nodded once again. “Thanks.”
“If it is any – any help to save the poor boy – ”
“Might be, yes. Thank you.”, they turned to separate, but Harry threw a brief look over his shoulder. “Good luck – ”
Minerva only dismissed him wit a slack wave of her hand before they disappeared around the corner and he set forth up the tower, nearly having forgotten what he had meant to do. Back in the trot, he only noticed that he had reached his destination when he made a curious discovery, seconds before he would have ran straight into it.
“Er – ”, he stopped at the statue that stood just as if nothing had happened to it.
“Are you really naïve enough to think I wouldn’t let you in, Potter? Unless you go for her private rooms, you may enter, of course.”
“Thanks!”
Harry chuckled and continued his way to the office which he found quiet, apart from the fine sizzling and jingling of various objects that once had belonged to Dumbledore, as well as the snoring of some portraits. Did they always have to do that? He knew most of them were pretending, since he had heard them talking before he had opened the door. Scorning them, he acted as though he had taken their bait and tiptoed towards a specific tile in the floor on which he stepped cautiously and snuck over to the secret cupboard where the Pensieve rested, its content glowing mystically.
“Back again, Harry?”, Dumbledore’s bemused whisper made him jump and almost scream before he spun. “I am sorry, if I spooked you.”
“I – I wondered whether – “, Harry whispered back, “I mean, she’s given me permission to – er – ”
“Well of course you may use the Pensieve.”, leaning on his arm, the old man’s portrait smiled heart-warmingly and closed his eyes again.
“Thanks.”
He turned back to the bowl and pulled his Mokeskin Pouch from beneath his clothes, rummaging it for the flask Luna had given to him. Having expected it, and therefore even more cursing under his breath, he pulled back his hand and sucked on his bleeding fingers with self-contempt. That was the third time in a week he had to take his wand from his pocket for performing a muttered healing spell because of that mirror shard. Now he knew he would have to find a box for it eventually. Yes, it was helping him to improve his skills, but it was also unnerving.
Fingers healed, he simply summoned the vessel; being childishly proud of managing to do at least that non-verbally now; and caught the object the moment his eyes got to see it. For some seconds he just studied the silvery essence, calming down to a mood he preferred not to have, but then removed the tiny cork and poured the memories into the Pensieve, where they became black. Taking a deep breath, he dived his face in and immediately fell, seemingly.
Anxious students were running through him and he snorted at the shock when it went by. That moment he saw him standing next to a black piano. At Harry’s own side, a few feet behind the man, stood Luna, wearing her school uniform and a pair of glittering purple stars dangling from her ears. He heard the doors falling shut, but didn’t turn for them. Instead, he studied the black figure that pulled a handkerchief and wiped it over some keys that gave a mournful sound on the touch. Apparently having noticed it, the pale fingers pushed them down again and seconds later he sat himself at the piano, slowly starting to continue a song the keys had started with a chord.
Not noticing it, Harry’s lips glided open, just a wee bit, as he listened to the beautiful sad song, the player’s face hidden behind curtains of greasy hair. Even though the scene dissolved after about a minute, the song carried on to play and he found himself at the entrance of the very same hall, but a different light was cast over masses of students and the walls were decorated with golden garlands. Across the front window hung a yellow banner that read `Happy Retirement, Professor Altena!´ in big black letters. A band played against the piano he still heard. Just then he startled at the sight of the person to his right.
He was not much older than fifteen or sixteen and his long black hair was unusually bouffant and wavy, but more silky than Harry had seen it when he had dried it after the worst of that embarrassing encounters in his office more than a year ago. Silky enough to reflect the light coming from the hall, where the shorter ends didn’t stand off in weird directions. Actually he looked quite like on the photo of the choir – and another that flashed up before Harry’s eyes, a photo on which he hadn’t even recognised him then. But it was unimportant now. He was not fond of feeling stupid again.
The fingers that had pressed the keys moments before, were younger as well and dug into the frame of one of the widely open doors as he watched the other students dance, nervousness written all over his pale face. Harry’s eyebrows narrowed with an unwanted smirk at the elegant black robe with silver embroidery and ornamental clasps. It must have cost him a small fortune, but Harry had an idea that there existed a reason for saving so much money. He followed the dark, glazed eyes and saw her.
Wearing a long strapless gown of green velvet that matched her eyes, her dark ginger mane waved with her spinning. Something silver sparkled on her chest. Her partner’s dress robes were of a rather poor quality, in a mousy brown that matched his hair and his tired face bore some; even from that distance; visibly fresh cuts. The song was over and it was hard to tell who was more exhausted. But definitely, Lily had had more fun. Out of breath, her smile began to vanish a little when another teenager approached her with a drink he offered her. In a second of James being distracted by Sirius who had come with him, she waved her hand over the glass. Harry didn’t know what it had caused, but he guessed that she might have transfigured the content to something more to her favour. Stunned that she had done it wandless and non-verbally, he found himself entrusted with a new task even before she lifted the glass to her lips, taking a more than self-satisfied sip. Remus hadn’t missed it and swallowed down a laugh, whereupon his lips curled, before he briefly waved them goodbye to get something for his own thirst.
Now James took Lily by the hand and brought her off the dance floor when the next song started. The sound of the piano was gone and Harry didn’t need to make up a reason why. Sirius followed the two. Suddenly Lily escaped a shriek and she nearly dropped her glass. Some other boy had crept up from behind, but as soon as she recognised him, her warm laugh echoed over the music for some seconds. Then it faded into a broad smile and Peter returned it, a little awkward though when she shook her head.
“Boo!”, said someone behind him and Harry startled, though composed enough within a second to see that the one whom it had been meant for, hadn’t winced at all.
“Do I look as if you frightened me, Reg?”, Severus groaned boredly with an already deep voice and looked up and down the bright white gown of the slightly younger teenager, who couldn’t have been mistaken for whom he was – the elegant waves fell past his shoulders and the eyes were the same as his brother’s, but he was as thin as Severus and appearing a little smaller than the one who still walked towards them with pauses as students crossed their way. “Even though you look like a ghost – ”
“Oh come on,”, Regulus chuckled a chuckle Harry hadn’t realised he still missed. “I don’t nearly look like a ghost.”
“No.”, Severus grumbled, his eyes back with the group. “Ghosts are transparent.”, Harry almost choked on his tongue. “Charming.”, Regulus had whipped out his wand, tapped it on his own head and the black marbles briefly flicked at where he had suddenly disappeared.
“I’ll go find Eli then.”, said the air with Regulus’ voice.
“Hard to overlook her hiding place. She’s yakking on Dumbledore.”
Harry looked up to the centred table by the hall face and could just spot a very young girl with curled blond pigtails that were decorated with pencils and her dress was glittering – she could have been Luna’s mother, telling from her regalia, but she did look too familiar to him for that. Sirius was pushed aside by something he stared after, but couldn’t figure out what it had been. So he shrugged it off.
They had finally made their way to a round table not far from the door, where only girls sat. Those looked up and instantly fiddled about with their hairdos. Harry couldn’t hold back a laugh of his own. Even though he was approaching them with his stunningly beautiful; but natural; girlfriend, they were quite openly trying to look better than her for a slight chance he might ditch her for them. While James was obviously too much in love to see it, Sirius took the chance to stick out his chest with manly pride and Peter shrunk to something flushed beyond normal possibility.
Harry made some steps forward to better hear what they were talking, but was again confronted with one of the disadvantages of watching a memory: nothing about the volume changed. So he had the same hard job listening as the shy one at the doors. Unnecessarily, he took a look over his shoulder and stepped aside when he saw that he blocked his view. Realising how stupid that had been, he gave a quiet grunt.
“Oh I wouldn’t say that, Sarah. You totally underestimate her.”, Lily noted. “I tell you, you should be aware.”
“Of what? The pimples? You think they could attack me?”, the other girls giggled with Sarah.
“Rather infest you if you don’t stop being so rude. It’s not her fault, after all.”
“She could wash her face.”, again the girls giggled.
“Well, she does.”
“God – what have I landed myself in?”, James moaned, laughing ironically.
“Right point. You landed yourself in that. I’d have danced on if Remus hadn’t been close to faint. Where is he anyway? It can’t take him so long to get a drink and come here.”, she leant back and searched the upper half of the hall, unsuccessful.
“He’ll find us, I’m sure.”, James pulled her to the table by putting his hand on her back.
“Watch out, James.”, said a blonde in a golden dress with a naughty smirk. “She’s worried for another guy while being with you,”
“Don’t worry, Mia. My red rose won’t drop me in a corner for one of my best friends.”
As if it had been his sign, the thin boy left the door. Harry heard it by the demonstrative sound of his shoes. Again, he jumped to make space for him.
“Oh, my, god.”, another ginger, who wore a pink dress, aspirated; Harry saw her adjusting a pin in the corner of his eye when Lily turned away from the instantly flushed other girls.
“Now who’s that?”, Harry first thought that James actually hadn’t recognised him due to the difference from his normal appearance, but was wrong. “Found the way to the bathroom, Snivellus? And where have you stolen those – clothes? How long did it take you to put them on, the right end up?”
“Not longer than it took you to fail seven marvellous times in a row,”, the young Severus smiled softly and without the slightest hint of hate or disgust. “Alone since you dared to approach the beauty you wish to be owning.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Ah, as I expected. Let me enlighten you then. First, she does not drink alcohol. Second, a ball is about dancing and people doing this are normally thirsty afterwards. Unless they are drunk already, alcohol could cause circulatory collapse, even if they do indeed not mind it. Third, it is impolite to seize a girl’s hand when wanting to escort her from a dance floor. It makes girls feel as though they were kidnapped for being raped.”
“What do you know about girls.”, James snarled; only half of the girls had giggled now, but those who had, were clearly unsure whether they should have.
“Fourth,”, all of them were calmly ignored, “There are many roses sitting on this table, one with sharper thorns than the other. The flower you referred to, is not nearly alike one of those tactless, rough killers.”, that sentence definitely worked like the strike of an entire army against the other girls who instantly stopped playing with their hair, but Lily was charmed, which she expressed with a blushing smile. “Fifth, as I stated, you cannot own a girl, especially not when you wish to call her your girlfriend. Sixth, you just gave a perfect example of your dreadful company manners and maturity, and seventh, this kindest and most beautiful flower of all wishes to dance. You made the biggest mistake by dragging her from her place of favour and throwing her into a lion’s den.”, his dark eyes finally moved from James to Lily and he made a gentle bow, offering his hand. “May I be granted the pleasure of the next dance, Milady?”
“Certainly, Milord.”, smiled Lily and took it, letting herself be pulled to her feet with grace.
“Oops,”, Sirius snickered to the bewitched ceiling when Lily was offered an arm now, on which she laid her hand and went with a happy grin.
Leaving the frustrated teenagers behind and following the two through the hall, Harry found himself battling a thought that had troubled him before. How? How could they have possibly had ended up married? A new warm smile blew away his considerations. The two had reached the dance floor right when the song had stopped and Harry now wondered whether Severus had known it would go like this. Marvelling at that smile that resembled much the one he had seen first on a photo, Harry blinked heavily. The band started anew. His blinking froze and transformed into a highly interested frown. He didn’t know much about music, but the song was definitely a tango.
As if they had been asked to, the other dancers cleared the floor when noticing the ready pair in the middle. At a table under the banner, Harry could see teachers straighten. Among them, his silver hair and beard shining under his red hat, Dumbledore. Horace and Minerva flanked him, the little girl with pigtails and; visible from that distance; a lot of pimples, squeezed in between him and Horace.
“Are you sure, you can do that?”, Lily whispered malicious when she was pulled close with a little, but seemingly professional force. “I know I can, but can you?”
“Lemme surprise ye.”, the answer came in a whisper as well when she was bent dangerously to the floor and Ahs and Oohs were given by the people around.
Chuckling, Harry stepped away from them again. Somehow he felt small. Drowning in admiration of their dancing skills, he demonised his incapability of so many things, dancing being just one of them. But he had to confess, he had never really tried, not even at the Yule Ball. Some people clapped occasionally when the two made a move that was exceptionally good. But when it came to that, Harry thought, he would have had to applaud all the time.
Watching them dance was not only painfully disarming for him alone, that much he could tell without having to take a look at a specific table. Now he remembered those said dancing lessons for the Yule Ball and came to the conclusion that he might have actually given the Slytherins some. As far as Harry knew; and saw; tango was rather difficult to dance as well as to look good at it, and if he could have done that with such precision and passion at this age, it was no doubt he could have taught some teenage lumps simple dances many years later.
Lily made close contact with the floor one last time and he even held her there for a while to make her enjoy the biggest applause after the band’s final chord, before he carefully pulled her to her feet again, took a step backwards and kissed her hand with a little curtsey. They left the dance floor through a gap that had been opened by the crowd to let them towards the bar. Seeing that the memory didn’t change, Harry hurried after the two, accompanied with the beginning of the next dance. But instead of the bar, Severus brought her to the backdoor and out.
Once the door was closed and all sound locked inside the Great Hall, Lily leant against the cool wall, panting her joy out.
“Win. You – got me. Should have – thought – you wouldn’t risk – a disgrace anymore.”
“Well, wha’ can I say?”, he replied in dialect and scratched his neck when he imitated her, “I do me bes’ ter avoid ’ose now.”
“Took you quite a time.”
“Nah – only – wha’s it? Fifteen years an’ six months?”, Harry couldn’t help grinning at the laugh they had, though something was different about his mother, something was missing.
“Almost.”, Lily calmed down.
“Tha’ pocke’ full o’ days – who counts ’em.”, Severus waved her off and turned onto his left shoulder for wiping a wet strand from her face, and Harry noticed that her necklace was gone; he blamed the discovery on his talents as a Seeker.
“I do.”, she smiled gently when the hand came to rest on her cheek.
“O’ course.”, he whispered and she bent her left leg as she turned to face him as well. “Wha’re ye doin’?”
“Now what does it look like, Sev?”, there was a strap attached to her lower leg from which she pulled her wand.
“Lef’ ’and?”, it took Harry more than a second to decipher that.
“It’s never been and obstacle for me, you know that.”
“Yeah. I’m still ’opin’ ter see ye fail at any magic ye do.”
“Even my toes’ll have deep wrinkles before you’d see that. Where’ve you gotten that masterpiece from?”
“I sol’ photos o’ James under tha shower ter quite a number o’ girls.”, he grinned.
“Sev,”
“I ’aven’ stolen it, if ye mean tha’.”
“But you couldn’t have earned that much in summer. Not for that job.”
“No, bu’ I did sell sum’thin’ in addition.”
“Yes?”
“Ma’am Primpernelle paid me qui’e a sum fer me recipe.”, he pointed on his cheek with his free hand while he began to fondle hers, his eyes becoming dreamy.
“Can she even read it?”
“Who cares? She said two ’undred, I agreed.”
“Two – two hundred?”, her eyes and mouth gaped. “Not – Galleons?”
“Ye think she paid me in pickled frogs?”
“Two hundred tiny shiny Galleonsies?”
“Yep.”, he playfully tapped on her nose.
“You nasty beast. Someone should knock you out with a Bludger instantly.”
“Oh I can think o’ sum’thin’ far more effective,”
Lily snickered with played conceit and gave her wand a number elegant waving moves that resulted in something Harry knew too well: she had secured the area and made them undetectable. What for, he understood a second before she closed her eyes like him and lifted her chin. He lowered his head to bridge the distance between their lips that met tenderly. A bit embarrassed, Harry looked away when their kissing became intimate and was glad that the piano was back to his ears. When he dared to look up again, he was yet again in the Great Hall. Lily just came strolling through the gilded doors with some of her friends, chatting, giggling, simply being girls. Harry however stood by the front end of the Slytherin table, where a head had shot up the moment she had entered.
Her entry being enough reason for Severus to abandon his unusual breakfast, he raised and walked around the tables to the middle corridor. But his quick steps were stopped halfway down the hall. Though Remus gave a rather slack protest, James had swung his legs over the bench and blocked the way with Sirius who had imitated him. The little Peter sat on the other side of the table next to Remus and therefore decided to stay. James crossed his arms, while Sirius pushed his hands into the pockets of his uniform trousers. Studying the one by his own side, wearing his green and silver tie rather tight and straight over the white shirt only while the other two were wearing their complete uniform, though a little sloppy, he saw where Lily’s necklace had gone: it rested on Severus’ tie.
“Well, well, well, Snivellus.”, James sneered. “Thinking you can just steal my girlfriend right under my nose, do some crappy steps, keep her hostage – and believe I’ll turn you loose?”
“Get out of my way.”, Severus only mumbled, cold, but indifferent and wanted to walk around him, but was blocked again.
“Oh no. Not so fast.”
“Leave him alone!”, the blonde Hufflepuff who had sat between Dumbledore and Horace the previous evening, had raised for defence, her curled pigtails jumping.
“Keep out of other people’s business, Garbage.”, James snorted and Harry knew now who the girl must have been, and he felt dreadful, realising that everyone around him had died by now, but Sirius’ eyes popped out at someone who had stepped up behind Severus; that diminished Harry’s woe as he meant to concentrate more on what he watched there. “Now what’s that?”, he chuckled, his eyes on the locket. “Jewellery? I knew you were a girl, Snivvy!”, some people in the vicinity roared with laughter, but Harry saw Lily separating from her friends, stomping fiercely and a badge like James’ glistening on her chest in the morning light. “Let’s see – ”, James gave his wand a flick and the locket zoomed at him, its thin chain dangling.
“Give it back to him!”, the second Slytherin gnarled and by that it was even harder to miss the resemblances in both voice and looks when Sirius barked in return.
“The hell he will! Keep out of that if you don’t want to join the Elves,”
“I’m gonna chop off your goddamned head!”, Regulus had drawn his wand, but a quick hand pushed it down before he could attempt to jinx his brother.
“He’s right, Reg. Keep out.”
“I won’t let them get away this time,”
“No.”
“Amy – ”
“I think,”, continued James, “I know something that’ll give you a lesson. Maybe an owl will see it and get it down for you. Maybe.”
And suddenly Harry felt himself reminded of his first flying lesson ever. James wound up and threw the locket high up in the air, towards one of the glassless windows right under the roof, where normally the owls flew in through when delivering mail. All heads turned after it as it hit the inner buttresses that melted with the clear blue of the enchanted ceiling with such speed that it knotted itself around the wood by the chain and got stuck up there. Immediately, the hall fell silent. Dumbledore had raised, looking as irate as Lily and Regulus.
“Mr Potter!”, he shouted, but James remained unimpressed, struck by his triumph; even more when Severus stretched out his arm and meant to summon the locket, but it didn’t stir.
“Oops, I s’ppose, you’d need a wand for that!”, Sirius laughed along, but Lily had pushed her way through the two, startling them much as she placed herself between them and Severus, and with a flick of her eyes behind, pushed down Regulus’ once more raising hand as well. “Amy, huh? As I say! He’s a girl!”, James grinned, seeming to have forgotten that such had just given him an elbow check and Remus only sighed to the table he still sat at.
“Won’t you for once grow up!”, she spat at them and Harry winced at the volume; James and Sirius looked appalled.
“Calm down, Lily.”, Severus said with the accent he had carried before. “I’ll ge’ it.”
“What?”, she spun around and watched him taking off his shoes and socks, some horrific awareness instantly written all over her face. “No – ”
“Yes.”, he said definite and with two simple waves of his hand and startled squeals, an alley was formed between the students and dishes on both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw table, facing the cold fireplace at the side wall.
“No – no!”
“Dun’ worry, I’ll do tha’.”, he said languidly, but Lily didn’t lose her anxiousness.
“Sev – that’s – that’s different – different from the rest of the castle – Severus – it’s too straight – too high – nothing in between – you can’t – ”
“I wun’ know if I dun’ try.”
“That’s insane!”, hissed Regulus. “You can’t be meaning to – Amy! Just ’cause you’re a goddamned Seeker – ”
Seeker? A certain photograph flashed up before Harry’s eyes again, and he actually cursed himself now for not having recognised him on it, sitting just to Regulus’ right. But that meant that either the sitting order hadn’t been the same then as these days, or they had swapped seats for whatever reason. Harry though rather suspected it to have been the fate of having to be captured sitting next to Horace for eternity.
“Please, Sev – that’s not worth it – it’s not worth risking your life – ”
But the look he gave them said it all and he quickly composed his body, all eyes on him. Harry looked up to the staff table. Minerva’s mouth stood wide open without her notice, Dumbledore looked alarmed but confused at the same time, and Horace was ashen. Severus had taken a run-up and his bare feet sped up the bench and table and across the gap to the next table from which he pushed himself off even faster, jumping high up, reaching for the top edge of the huge mantelpiece which his fingers caught easily and he swung himself onto the slim rim of stone, further up the slope body of the hood, which seemed rather easy for him due to the big Hogwarts coat of arms that adorned it. Although being almost as steep as the wall itself, he quickly crawled higher on the otherwise even stone and got hold of one of the half-columns that supported the buttresses.
Harry’s heart probably hammered as hard against his Adam’s Apple as Severus’ while he watched him climbing higher and higher without losing much speed, focused on his target, every single step dangerously close to be the last. But he ran up the soffit of the wide arch already, like a monkey on a palm tree, and as soon as he reached a free area, he swung his right leg around the thick carved wood, resting, if only for a moment.
He heard his mother take a deep relieved breath and barely saw Regulus shaking his head with disbelief. Though Severus pulled himself onto the ornaments and stepped sideways up there, almost swallowed by the blue himself, climbing through the enchantment. Harry wondered how that felt for him, but knowing of the intensity of his memories he had watched previously, he knew that if there had been a change, he would have felt it as well. And then, as if it was the easiest thing to do, he sat down, wrapped his legs around the arch once more, loosened the locket, fixed it around his neck again and rolled to the side, hanging upside-down then, above the middle corridor.
In the corner of his eye, Harry saw Minerva shaking her head as well, with her hand on her hovering chest. Lily stood exactly below Severus now and they looked into one another’s eyes. She stepped back. So did the Black brothers, James and the young Charity, who appeared like they had settled their affairs.
“I’m – warnin’ – ye,”, Severus panted, “Dun’ – do – anythin’ – I’m – ’bou’ ter – top – me Mum. Dun’ do – ”
“I had no intentions.”, Lily only sighed, utterly hollow, but audibly relieved, as if he was already back standing on solid stone, even though he was still hanging with his head down, nearly molten with the image of the sky outside, but his hands on his thighs as though he was sitting on one of the benches.
Severus let go, clearly visible again. The entire hall held their breath when he fell, turned in midair, sailing like a bird and though it was only seconds, it seemed like an endless fall – and then he was not falling anymore. With a forward roll He had pushed his legs towards the ground, adjusted himself once again, and was now gliding rather, sinking as a little stone would do in a lake, slowly like Lily had years ago on that playground near their home – and he touched the floor even softer than if he had hopped down from a chair, the only sound; seconds after; a loud rumble from the staff table.
All heads zoomed at the source: Horace had fainted and slid down between his chair and the table, coming to lie under it, which looked rather odd due to his body shape. Dumbledore visibly huffed and dropped his shoulders with his eyes closed. Breaking the silence another time, Lily chuckled. More relieved, but also amused, and Severus couldn’t help joining in, before he took off the locket, stepped closer. Her laughing fading to a warm smile, she let him lay it around her neck. Not taking her eyes off him, she addressed James, grim, while Regulus meant to pat Severus on the shoulder, but seemed unsure whether to touch him at all.
“Next time you throw something up to the sun, you should consider asking whether it actually belongs to whom you think it does. And if you really paid attention to me yesterday, you’d have known that I lost it while dancing with Remus. And you,”, she craned her neck and gave Severus a small kiss on the cheek, “Wait until everyone else’s gone before you punch your insanity into their faces, little show-off. Well, unless you want him – ”, she shortly nodded up to Dumbledore, “Visit your Mum again.”
“All righ’.”, Severus panted with an embarrassed smirk.
“You two are so full of yourselves – be careful or either of you might get yourselves killed by that one day. You excuse me, I’m hungry.”
“Sure.”, he said and stepped aside for her.
While she sat down between some other of her Housemates, he turned for the Marauders, gave them an unconcealed glare of vanity and, not only to Harry’s surprise, became greyish white fog, took off across their heads and rushed from the hall that vanished in darkness and a melody.
Forced to listen to the second half of the song, he wondered whether his mother had ever gotten to hear it. For sure she had, Harry considered. But if she had – wouldn’t that have given her one less reason to marry James? Had he ever gotten to find out that she had cheated on him? And why had he –
The song was gone another time before it could end and Harry met with an old side alley and an older Severus Snape. He wasn’t too much older though, but looking like he had been through at least something more than just being taunted by his classmates. His hair was hidden beneath the hood of his long black cloak and his face was excitement mixed with sorrow around his sunken in eyes. Outside, in the sunlit street, Lily was talking to another woman. On her arm she carried a basket that held what appeared to be the purchase from a market. Harry could perceive leeks. The women waved each other goodbye and Lily turned for the dark, narrow alley between the windowless sides of the old houses, too in thoughts to pay attention to her surrounding until – her eyes shot open in horror and the basket slipped from her arm.
In a split-second reaction she had drawn her wand from the long, buttoned sleeve of her blouse and pointed it on him. But then she must have recognised him for who he was as she lowered it, the shock becoming disbelief. It was then that he pushed back his hood and slowly stepped towards her. Trying to figure out what was actually going on, Harry couldn’t miss how familiar the scene was. Lily shifted the wand into her other hand and closed the area between them, stomping with rage, a silver piece of jewellery bouncing on her chest. Realising the coming too late, Severus received the full force of her slap.
“Sorry.”, he mumbled, robbing his cheek and straightened hesitantly.
“Pardon?”, Lily moaned quiet, storing her wand in the belt of her long skirt.
“I said, I’m sorry.”, she smacked him across the face another time, now with her left hand.
“You just happen to turn up after I thought you dead for more than a year,”, she hissed, “And all you can come up with is `I’m sorry´?”
“If ye’d lemme explain,”, he smirked desperate, “I’d say sum’ more.”
“Where the hell have you been.”, now it was her to rob a part of her body: her left hand with her right, moaning again, but in the moment Harry did, he too spotted what that was a bigger blow for him than her hits. “Well, yes,”, she eyed the silvery ring herself, “You saw that right. You’re a week too late to contradict.”
“A – a week?”, Severus blinked and finally straightened.
“Yes, we married last Wednesday.”
“Well, congratulations.”
“Don’t pretend to mean that.”, she whimpered. “You might be a good liar, but not to me and you know that. By the way, don’t act as if your world’s collapsing now. You begged for it.”
“Alrigh’, if we’re already at tha’, ye should ’ave a look at tha’ an’ tell me wha’s tha truth.”, he said cold with glassy eyes, drew his wand from his own left sleeves and pushed them up.
“No – ”, Lily aspirated. “No.”, she shook her head, tears coming already. “No! No, Severus no!”
“I’ll listen ter yer story, if ye listen ter mine.”, he silenced her, casting the same protections around them as she had done in the corridor behind the Great Hall. “Wit’ou’ ’ittin’ me. I know, I deserved tha’; still ye should wai’ ’til I’m done. I din’ join ’im fer pleasure. I wan’ ’im away.”, her lips formed the question `What?´ and she wiped off her tears. “I know, it sounds a lil illogical, bu’ ye go’ ter ’ear tha whole.”
Unfortunately, Harry wasn’t granted to share her privilege. For the first time in weeks he hated him again. He had done what? Planned it from the beginning? But why then had Dumbledore – why had he not let him know? Harry was back again to hear the end of the song and the tears he hadn’t fully seen in the previous scene were now washing the pallid face between the greasy curtains as he had turned to face Luna and held the flask up to her, a golden ring glistening on his right hand. He had obviously wiped some tears away before, but fresh ones had come.
Luna conjured a white string for the flask so she could wear it around her neck. When it disappeared under her clothes, he barely raised his voice.
“If I should be – ”, he swallowed, “Gone – before the war is over – give it to Harry. But – please – wait until – he is ready. Otherwise he wouldn’t understand the meaning.”
“Alright, Sir.”, Luna whispered, smiling, and pulled him up when she noticed that he didn’t fully manage on his own.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Good night, Professor.”
“Yes.”, a sigh left him. “Good night, Miss Lovegood.”
Harry’s eyes followed him striding over to that single backdoor of the hall, weary and aware that it might as much had been the last time he had done that; he made a mental note to ask Luna about it. When the door fell shut, the hall vanished and Harry felt his head rising back into the ancient study.
~~#~~